Where the mind is held without fear

2013 has been a yet another remarkable year for me. Personally it was a fabulous year and there is nothing that I could complain about. I set out this year to learn something new and I have to confess that I have not learnt anything that significant. Yes maybe a few small things here n there, but mostly about myself.

What I have come realise is that I need to get back to work and that will be the only resolution I take upon myself for the year 2014.

The year has been challenging for most of us as Indians. With the inflation sky-rocketing, corruption of all kinds setting new record-high levels and treating our fellow Indians less than equal. This has just pushed us generations back, more like the dark ages, when ignorance and lack of education prevailed.

Was life this complicated or unsafe, 20 years back when were growing up or was it we were unaware? I wish and dream of India and us as Indians setting new benchmarks in the world. Not going back to the dark ages. I stay away from the country and in a funny way I feel more Indian than ever before. 

I feel sad when a girl is brutally gang-raped, or when children go missing from their homes, good health-care is un-affordable and children falling sick after eating mid-day meals provided at schools. I want to see a society where we are not forced to live in fear.

I pray in 2014 more children go to school, people have mutual respect for everyone, let there be smiles on everyone’s face. If each one helps even if only one, even then we can achieve a lot. Let’s the cities, towns and villages be more safe for children. Compassion and empathy should pave for the change, that we are really hungry for now. 

I hate watching the news channel with depressing and heart-wrenching stories. If I want the best for my child when it comes education, health and food then why should it be any different for anyone else. The problem is more in our heads that makes us feel superior to others. If only we all practise gratitude that is the core of Indian culture, the country would be a much better place to live in.

Just last evening I was met a young boy at a coffee shop. He was thrilled to see the book I was reading “I am Malala”. He too comes from the same country as Malala and was glad to see the world can read everyday problems people are facing. He said, “Malala is just one of millions of girls who want to study” and that he wanted to go back home to teach kids in his village after he finishes his education.  At 17 he had a clear vision of what he wanted for his nation.

I think we too ask ourselves the same question what do we want and that I guess will answer most of our problems.

Let there peace, happiness, love and clarity in our hearts. For a better India and an even better world in 2014. 

Image courtesy: Amul.com, an utterly honest brand! 

Glue that keeps us together

I am the google mom, I confess, or atleast I used to turn to google for everything. The first time I was travelling with my 40 day old Smera to Delhi, I googled up the check on the rules to travelling with an infant. But now I have sort grown out of that stage, I am a bit more confident, moreover she enjoys travelling with me. It’s one of the most hassle-free tasks for me.

The very thought of itself make Smera extremely happy. So I decided to get her to help me pack this time, she has been extremely efficient in unpacking from the time she was 6 months old. So I neatly laid out things we would need for a weekend getaway to my mum’s place and this is all what she had to pack for the trip.

Having put her toy in the bag she was satisfied, the fun bit started at the airport, asking (almost begging) me to get her some surprise. Surprise typically in Smera’s dictionary means a treat that she is not allowed to eat everyday.

On reaching home, she thrilled to see her granny and grandpa she forgot about the jetlag bit. I even managed a day trip leaving her with my parents to go off to Mumbai for a day. But what was most surprising, the amount of conversation she can make in a day with everyone at home.

Telling my parents how I keep fighting with her, to the reason why she is not allowed to jump on the bed as its expensical (read expensive). She also refused to marry my brother, Sanju Mama as he is naughty. While his wife my sister-in-law (SIL) is her friend as Veda ammai loves to play with her. She would order her around, “Veda come on let’s play”. Sometimes Smera talks to my SIL as if she brought up Veda, gave her education, and helped become the scientist she is today. 

Among other things as a mother I do prefer Smera eating healthy food choices, good amount veggies and carbs and proteins.  One afternoon during the break I was extremely pleased when she finished her lunch without a fuss. For that reason I asked my mum for a treat, “do you have B-I-S-C-U-I-T?? and mum replied “no there is only M-U-F-F-I-N”, to this the little smarty pants quickly adds, “I want E-E-I-O-U”. That was her first and the best shot at attempting to spell anything, was really meant to be a sweet treat!

It was so funny that we decided to take her to KFC for a real treat that evening. Before heading out I asked if she would take my aunt, her little granny to KFC, instantly she replied “No”! Upon asking her reason she said, “you are not funny and you are naughty”!

The day I was coming back she tells my father “Grandpa you be nice to my granny!”. Then tells her granny “you too be nice to him” as consolation prize so that the grandpa too is taken care of.

This age is so wonderful, I wish could just record every bit of her conversation. Kids at this stage are a perfect balance of sheer naughtiness and innocence all at the same time. Of course it also takes great specimens to produce one of a kind notorious one.

You will always hear me complaining about Smera but reality is, even though she might be naughty and talk like a grandmother, but still in some weird way I am kind of proud of it too.

Staying in a nuclear family makes us respect and appreciate our family so much more and to see that joy on her face to meeting grandparents, uncles, aunts and cousins, makes me want to travel again and again back home.

Thank you Smera for bringing us closer as a family! 

Driving me crazy

I have previously written about my passive road-rage issue and this time I am going to rant about the active part of my road-rage problem. The active part really comes into play especially between 07:30 – 09:00hrs and then 16:00-17:30hrs.

On many occasions I’ve experienced near accident situations. However there was a particular incident which really agitated me. On a beautiful evening on my way to pick up Smera, I almost saved myself from colliding into a car, thankfully I had enough space between me and the next car to apply sudden brake and hazards.

Some random guy was tailgating another car while he is on the phone crashes on Sheikh Zayad Road roughly about 16:15pm. That’s not it along with it two other cars are smashed. I was fourth one in line and luckily even at 110Km/hr could safely slam the brakes without colliding into the crash. But the sight was devastating to see as two of the three cars were completely damaged.

It’s a usual thing here especially at peak time, but it frustrates me that if you are not worried about your own life, at least think about others lives.  I stopped and got out pull the person out of the third car as I could see smoke coming out of the vehicle, a few other people stopped by to help.

The lady in the third car, feeling shocked and hurt, her first question upon getting out of the car was, “Are there any kids in other cars?”. Not worrying about her injury, she was more worried about others in the crash.  Accidents are bound to happen, they cannot stop but one can help minimise it.

My husband works in the insurance field and being in the motor insurance field, I get hear awful stories of people and sometimes even an earful for being a little rash. I am not claiming to be the best driver in the world, but just imagine, I was on my way to pick up my daughter and if I too had crashed then she would have been stuck crying wondering where her mum was.

By all means drive fast in Dubai, the roads are good and you can speed up too but just use little basics:

• Leave enough gap between you and the car ahead of you.
• Tailgating a big no-no, that’s just plain rude!
• Use the wonderful device called indicators while changing lanes
• Please buckle up your kids
• Should you feel the need to sudden brake please use hazard lights
• Lastly don’t use indicators to change lanes with hazard light on, it does NOT help.

I leave you with a few stories from the newspapers here in UAE, maybe you can understand my frustration:

• Dad dies, mum and son hurt in Sharjah road smash
• Tragedy-struck Sharjah family loses breadwinner in car accident
• Accident death toll for this year
• 289 accidents reported in Dubai on foggy Tuesday

Silly Saturdays: Of opportunities and prospects

I keep thinking of writing Silly Saturdays without having Smera on my mind. But guess it’s tough when that’s the only thing I do, being a stay at home mom!

This week while getting out of school I saw Smera trying to catch hold of the magnetic door before it would close. The motherly instinct was absolutely sure that her fingers would be clasped between and I dashed to save her fingers. I couldn't save it, but in the process I dropped my phone. Forget the phone, I had a crying child to pacify, and thankfully she didn't get that badly hurt.

On reaching home I realised that my precious phone’s screen had broken. Devastated to realise that, I felt all the more bad, as I couldn't save her getting hurt and moreover the phone was broken. My Samsung Galaxy Note II, a gift from hubby was wrecked. I started crying, and I can cry even for no reason, but my little one felt really sad looking at me.

She put her little warm hands on my teary face and wiping them and saying in her gentlest voice, “Mamma don’t cry, it’s ok and you read a book and daddy will come soon!”. I was taken back by her maturity at the age of just 3, pacifying her silly mother. This was also the very first time I heard that gentle voice, I am by and large tuned to a lot of screaming and no’s in our usual conversations. Just kidding!

Feeling a little better, we got on with our usual stuff and then the door bell rings. It was hubby on the door, just as I opened the door and even before he put a step inside, she blurts out, “Daddy, mamma broke her phone, can you please scold her?”.

Call it being an opportunist or unscrupulous to get me into trouble, simultaneously trying to score some brownie points in her dad’s good books. Though I have to confess, it did lighten my mood a bit more.

That evening as me and the hubby sat down talking, we ended up discussing Smera’s career options. We mutually concluded that she could really have a good shot at Indian politics and maybe could even start a toddler’s wing of some political party! And for starters I have a name for her political party too SDP or Smera Dalbadlu Party! For those who do not understand Dalbadlu means one who deceives by double dealing! 

P.S. – The phone is fixed and was done in flat one hour thanks to the Samsung’s one-hour express service! 

Mary and Martha made me feel really helpless tonight

Just finished watching a movie called Mary and Martha - watching the movie has made me feel really small in my own eyes.  Sometimes just surviving life is enough for some people and we are lucky to have good education, jobs, kids, happy families, bank balance, annual vacations and much more! There are some movies that are just meant to shake you up, get you out of this dream and that is what this movie has exactly aimed at doing.

The movie plot if you may ask is - The two women turn their grief into action, hoping to thwart the disease, which the World Health Organization estimates killed 660,000 people in 2010, most of them African children. The movie builds to a scene in which the women testify before a Congressional subcommittee. In the process, Mary and Martha come to realize that the losses experienced by two comfortable white Western households are atypical, and that the real impact of malaria is on parts of the world that few people in their circles know or care about. 

 

Image: Telegraph.co.uk

But what it meant to me is that, sitting and cribbing about the government would not help. We need to make little steps, in our lives to make our environment a better place. Each one can teach one, or you could sponsor somebody’s medical cost, fund a child’s education. Imagine if we all did just one good thing what a better place it would be.

As a ritual, we don’t celebrate in family my birthdays or other big occasion with grandeur, have lavish parties or expensive gifts. We give that money back to the community where it could be used more wisely. Even then I felt so small after watching this movie, leaving me with the feeling that I am not doing enough.  And so I urge you watch this movie, with your kids, spend sometime doing a little for your community. If nothing else it will surely give you peace in life, which is what we all are craving for in our lives.

 

Image: Mirror.co.uk

Don’t go looking to far, you can start from home – give lady who comes to clean a little extra money, give the watchman who guards your building some groceries, buying books the ironing lady’s children or just spend time at an orphanage or an old age home.

We can play a little part, let us not wait for the change to happen, let us make it happen!

Credits:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_and_Martha_(film)

How to get into trouble with a toddler?

Parenting is all about raising your kid while you try to diplomatically you pick words. Every parent goes through this especially if you have a 3 year old at home. From time to time, I am reminded of this with Smera around me. I chronically get into trouble publicly when the little one blurts out words she is not supposed to.

So when we started talking potty training with Smera, I told her big girls wear panty not diapers. The concept we came up was to make her feel now the she is big girl she needs to graduate to panty. Just like everything has to go wrong, we got into trouble at a family get together when the little one asks us “Mamma and daddy can you show me your panty?”.

Image: gettyimages.ae

That night was just the beginning, recently at my cousin’s wedding, the day before wedding at her place, we were all enjoying traditional Kerala sadya- eating on banana leaf. Smera hops on to my lap gets on eating on rice with her, dropping half down on the floor and rest in her mouth.

As you would expect any parent I too said, “Smera don’t drop your food”. I thought this is what I good parents are supposed to do, correct them if needed. Suddenly she blabbers out in anger “Mamma I am not going to listen, because you don’t listen to me. Don’t fight me”. Leaving me feel embarrassed and got an earful from my uncles for scolding her.

Now that Smera is growing up the obvious question will be how do babies come? So I was mentally preparing myself for that day, praying that day that doesn’t come soon. After much deliberation, I was planning to tell her - I prayed to god and then an angel came and put you in my arms and that’s how you came to me.

But life is always not what I plan particularly when it comes to Smera. An ardent Peppa Pig fan, comes one day with something stuffed in her tee and says “Mamma I have a baby in my tummy”. Mortified to hear this I was left to guess where she learnt this new information. Eventually I learned that Rebecca rabbit in Peppa pig was having a baby and that is how Smera learnt all about babies coming from the tummy.

Moving from there, the Halloween celebration has not helped me either much this year. One morning while taking her school, she messed up her hair and I just happen to say, “look what a mess you've made out of your hair?” The little girl feeling offended says, “no you look like a scary witch”, now how can I blame her since the Halloween costumes and themes were being discussed at school and at home.

Kids are much smarter than you think, especially mine is surely is, so right after the panty incident, learning from my mistake, bra is referred to as vest, hoping that would save me from embarrassment publicly.

Coming back to the moral of the story is not to under-estimate your child even if they are just 3.  Parenting is all about is all knowing when to speak your mind and when to mind your speech. A wise lady I met recently told me the ultimate truth of life – Children and pets always let you down in front of others!

My girl turns 3 !!

Three years ago, this exact day I was blessed with a little baby girl. As she turns three today, the best part of being her parent is seeing her smile everyday in the morning. This year has been yet another spectacular roller-coaster ride for us and Smera and through the year many milestones were achieved this year too.

gettyimages.ae

She can talk, make full sentences, sometimes even scold us or publicly embarrass (more on that in my next post). She can now successfully somersault, strike a couple yoga poses and peddle tricycle without falling down and fracturing her hand. Breaking her wrist was the toughest part of the year, I think I must have cried more than her. Even through all that pain and irritation she showed us how brave she is. At least she was much more than me.

She has become more social and loves talking to the ladies. She would love to look at their dress, touch their earrings, if she is lucky might even get them put her some lipstick. While she is still a little vary of the men, actually to be honest she can give dirty looks to men and scare them off too. I kind of feel secure that way!

Another milestone she reached that now she is fully potty-trained and has been diaper-free for the last few months. Infact this was one of the milestones that got delayed a bit, as she was scared to sit on the pot. I had to bribe her with lipstick, to get her sitting on the potty throne initially.

Yes you heard it right, a potty throne that is what it is called – a separate miniature toilet, designed for kids to be trained. But thanks to her cousin sister Amy, she has finally been upgraded to big the pot. Thank god I don’t have carry her throne anymore now. Phew!

Above all this year we have become more of friends, we fight, we kiss and make up. Love to snuggle into each other and then when daddy comes home complain about each other. Now I enjoy when the husband is travelling and it’s just the two of us alone at home, doing all girlie things together, watching her favourite Cinderella or Peppa pig.

gettyimages.ae

Our relationship reminds me of mine with my mother when I was growing. She has got all my bad habits, keeps calling me Mamma all the time, whether there is a need or not. However the funniest bit was once, she says, “mamma you look like my sister!” It’s something I always tell about my mum that she looks like my sister and the little one must have picked up this somewhere from one of our conversations.

I am a very strict parent and maybe you might even find me scolding her all the time, but that is because I want her to be world’s best child. When you grow and read this one, I want you to know mamma loves you a lot. Thank you so much for making our lives so special. God bless you, may you grow up to be a wonderful girl and I am sure success would follow you.

Happy birthday Smera!

Silly Saturdays: The Emperor's New Clothes

This morning I was reading a free-copy of the Good Taste magazine with Deepika Padukone on the cover. Smera takes a look at the magazines decides it looks interesting with for her to flip through. 

Smera: Mamma I like this girl! (Deepika on the cover)

Mamma: Really ?? (as I don't)

Smera: Yes mamma she is wearing red lipstick, I like it, will you buy it for me too please! 

Mamma: Sure kanna! 

Image source: Good Taste

Just as she was flipping through the pages she see a picture and says, "mamma look aunty with her daddy!". I was little stunned thinking she could recognise Mr. Praskash Padukone, so I left my phone aside to have a look at the feature and this is what I see. 

Source: Dailymail.co.uk

Need I say more? Take a cue Mr. King Khan from an almost 3 year old!

P.S. - If you have not read the fable then you must read,The Emperor's New Clothes

My Best Friend’s Wedding (and) I was the Bride

I have known my hubby for almost 10 years now. We met at Ahmedabad for the very first time where I was doing my post-graduation course at MICA. Our first meeting was on 10th of November, his birthday, the meeting was really awkward but from there on was no stopping.

At first we were very good friends, we used to chat on yahoo and would have long and expensive conversations on the phone. He was my friend, philosopher and pillar of my strength. We were always in different cities and but still we connected somehow with each other from the time we got to know each other.

Gettyimage.ae

A year later I moved to Mumbai and he was set to leave for Dubai on a new assignment. It was that day that I realised that I could not stay without him. He has carved a very special place in my heart with his honest and innocent self, that the very thought of him moving away gave me shivers.

I don’t remember that exact day but it was really special, I had found true love. I couldn't stop smiling while going in a local train back home thinking of him. What could be better than falling in love with your best friend? It was surprising for many as were two very different people, very different backgrounds yet we came together.

The toughest phase was when we broke the news at home, with him being Christian and I came from a Hindu family, everyone was against it. I moved to Doha, him in Dubai, we could have met several times but we never did, since he respected my hesitation in not lie to my family. 

I finally gave up on our relation since my parents wouldn't accept him, but he is kept his calm during that time when I stopped speaking to him. Mystically my mom realised that I would be happy him and gave us a go ahead and within matter of months were married. It was almost after a year I saw him again, just the day before our quite wedding. That moment was priceless to see, talking through our eyes as my parents were still not so enthusiastic about it.

And somewhere in all of this I felt, my mom had distanced herself from me and that for me was very painful. Nobody could understand that pain, but Saju with his love and affection got me back my mum back and I can’t thank him for that.

The best part in our relation has been our friendship that is where we started from, our respect for each other and just being ourselves but all this wouldn't have happened if we hadn't met on that 10^th of November.

For me that is our platinum day of love, his birthday is still reminds of that silly meeting -our awkwardness and how our relationship has grown from there on. Thank you for just being the person you are and accepting me with all flaws, giving me my parents back and our precious little Smera.

Happy Birthday Saju! 

This post part of the Platinum Day of Love contest at Indiblogger.in 

Silly Saturdays: Toddler’s food for thought

Smera usually gets lecture from me when she says no to eating vegetables but last evening was a little different. The scenario was - Smera’s baby-sitter was giving her dinner when I overhear this conversation.

Smera: Aka you must eat lots of vegetables then you will become big and strong like me.

Aka: Ok Smera!

Mamma: (hearing her lecture) Smera would you like some more vegetables?

Smera: No mamma, you can give it to Aka, she needs to become big like me. I am already tall.

It’s not just Aka’s food she is concerned about. She also loves to talk to toys every now and then, telling about eating healthy, just as a mother would tell her kids.

That brings me to man-eating crocodiles, Smera has a crocodile and she love to feed him and this morning she brings the crocodile to her daddy and says, “Daddy, look what my crocodile ate?” and here’s a picture of that for you guys to see it for real.