Tough luck

A 4 year old boy was recently expelled from my daughter’s class in KG -1. The school was forced to take this drastic step against the child as he was continually disrupting the class. But what was more defeating in all of this is the fact the parents were in denial that their child could such a thing.

The problem started right from the very beginning of the class in September. The boy would bite his fellow classmates and occasionally push or kick them too. Smera too was bitten and we asked her to complain to the class teacher instantly. A month into the class this continued, so I spoke to the academic supervisor regarding the matter was asked to send a written complaint. The supervisor was asked to prove that the child really was biting by his parents. Forced to provide proof to the parents, she decided to urge parents to send in written complaints.

At first I refused to give in a written complaint. I wanted to give the boy a fair chance as I was not sure if Smera was exaggerating. As a mother I could understand another mother’s situation too. It is difficult to hear when our child does something wrong and I am really no one to judge about the little boy’s character. So as days passed on, Smera continued to grumble until one day when she came back home with a bite mark on her wrist.  And that was it, I didn't want Smera to think that it is okay to bite. So I finally sent an email to the supervisor, explaining the incident and hoping that this time the parents would not ignore the incident.

After the email, I very rarely heard Smera complaining about her friend. Though she would tell me of how her other classmates were bitten by the same boy. And then just this week I was informed by the supervisor that the boy has been expelled from school. The reason cited was that the boy was given plenty of chances to improve and the school no longer wanted to be held responsible for anything untoward happening to other students.

We were not the only parents who had complained. But did the school do right by putting the child out of the school? In my opinion, maybe not! The child of course every child needs to know the difference between good and bad, right and wrong but not all children are the same. I think it was a very harsh decision on a 4 year old. Maybe they could have waited for few months for the year to get over, this way the child would have saved an academic year. I am sure the parents could have helped a bit more to help their child deal with his aggressive behaviour.

Discipline cannot be taught overnight and definitely not by punishing the child. What we must remember is that every child is different and a child needs our love the most particularly when he is not worthy of it!  

Fit in or Stand out?

We all live in comfort zones and find it really difficult to part away with it. But such is life, it will bring challenges and will expect you to raise yourself above the petty things and aim at the goal that is set higher. If you are a regular at the blog, then you would know that I love looking for inspiration from people in my life, everyday people like you and me! And so today it’s going to be my eldest niece, Mariah but I love calling her Ammu.

Ammu until this June was studying at the Indian School grade 5, one of the most prestigious CBSE schools in the Oman and was in the CBSE (I) curriculum, which is far more relaxed and than the regular CBSE. However when we decided upon putting Smera into an international school known for strong academics and extra-curricular activities, Ammu seemed excited about this new school for her.

It wasn't going to be a task as she just managed to clear her entrance test in Math and the second challenge set for her was French as opposed to Hindi was going to be the second language and she would have to catch up on her French. The third challenge for Ammu was to make new friends and so far it was easy for her as she joined and grew up from a toddler into a confident and popular 10 year old girl. Now it was going to all back to square one and at 10 it’s a bit more difficult to fit in.

But in all of this she had an advantage as she had an extra month of vacation which she utilised very wisely and got herself enrolled for Math and French coaching. As a result of the challenge that was set in front her, she pushed herself to the limits and in the very first test in French she scored a 100/100 and in Math she scored an 87/100. Since the first week her academic scores have been getting better the ever.

Simultaneously she has been making friends too in her peers and superiors but it is a bit longer process than she had expected. She is trying to make friends without changing the person she is and believe me it’s a tough ask for a 10 yr old. I keep reminding her of all the good parts of her character, while some days are tough but some days are super cool. The problem with the kids at her age is they without realising end up hurting, or bullying their peers. But what is important is not to lose your identity to become one of them.

In life I've learnt that trials are a great way to progress ahead in our lives. Sometimes they may make us feel excited and enthusiastic, while others simply are meant to overwhelm us.  The key is to never to lose your confidence, you may lose everything and get it back with firm belief in yourself. My advice for you and every child would be not to hesitate in taking chances and appreciate whatever you've have learned from a tough situation and you must also understand that every step is necessary in this journey called Life!

I know you've always enjoyed Dr. Seuss, he once said "Why fit in when you were born to stand out?”.  Taking a cue from Dr. Seuss, there is wonderful song that I am leaving for you and I feel best describes your situation. I Love You and you make me very proud girl!! 

A week that went by !!

Being a Stay-At-Home-Mom or SAHM as the new lingo is, is one the most difficult part of job that any mother has do. Now don’t get me wrong, with all due respect it’s a very important job and somebody’s got to do it but the problem is at the end of the it’s a thankless job. I wonder how mums all the over world and over hundreds of years have managed to stay at home all the time and have been happy about it. I have never met a SAHM who has ever complained!

I was brought by an extremely hard working mum, who would be away almost 5 days a week but she made up for that I missed in just two days. Yes of course she missed my report card days (that was mostly on purpose), or school functions etc. But she was always around still and the one thing that I really learnt from her is to be independent! Be it monetarily or emotionally, every woman needs to be self sufficient!

I am currently at a situation where I am absolutely frustrated as I do a little bit of work from home, content writing, blogging etc. but it is just not satisfying my soul. I want to get back to the corporate routine and which is quite impossible right now with no one to look after my little Smera. It feels like living in a jail especially on school days as I have to be on mercy for the hubby to come in early and answer some of the her questions. Since we moved to Muscat we don’t have a baby-sitter so far and the question of having some Me-time is zero.

To help myself feel a little liberated I have started going to my hubby’s office, working on the website content. So my usual routine starts at 4:30 am, and that’s all thanks to my body clock and if knew where it was located I would have long thrown it out of body. Going after sending Smera away to school I get ready and rush to work, work on the content bit till 12:30 come back for houseboy to clean, cook lunch and pick up Smera.

Once Smera is back I am already feeling sleepyishly liberated and that’s when I take her down to play for an hour that is roughly around 5-6 pm. This is the time when I am really doing a security guard’s duty keeping both my eye on her, while she plays. In between other kids from the compound ask the lovely lady aka me the time, to make sure they don’t get in trouble with their mums. Once back from the play I give her a bath followed by then dinner and then I tuck her away by 7 pm.

Image courtesy: Corbis.com

Sigh!! I am feeling almost exhausted writing about it, imagine me dragging my self with that idiotic body clock. Then the laundry, tweeting, whatsapping, facebooking and thinking of the next blog post, while preparing for next day. Sounds extremely chaotic but I am loving it. I just wish if I could find a full-time help at home, which would make it more interesting then I guess.

For now I am happy, for having started working from office instead of my couch! 

Say a little prayer

Every night as I put my little Smera to sleep, I say a prayer thanking god for the things he has blessed us with. Now that she has become big she has started saying her prayers herself. It goes something like this. “Thank you God for the food we eat, thank you god the playground we have, for cheese and chocolate milk Mamma gives and for the Lego that daddy will get me on my birthday. Could you also give me Queen Elsa dress and a big cake? Thank you for everything!!”

Much as it sounds funny, but she is god’s blessed child to have a good childhood for she has good health, good school, healthy food and a home to live in. There are so many who are struggling for their sustenance of the very basic called – Life!

Image: corbis.com

What angers me the most is that we humans are ready to kill each in the name of our religion. And I don’t believe in religions, I only believe in the existence of God and humanity for all. All these religious upheaval happening across the world makes me wonder what are becoming into. I am a Hindu by birth, married to a Christian, lives in an Islamic country but in all of this religion has no importance in my life. I do go to the temple, church, mosque or gurdwara only for one reason they give me peace.

The Quran says, ‘There shall be no compulsion in the matter of faith. Distinct is the way of guidance now from error.’ There is great wisdom hidden in this line, our actions defines our intention and we people will receive only what we intended. Then why not wish for good things for everyone, peace and happiness, wouldn’t the world become a better place then?

We humans fight in the name of Allah, Jesus, Ram, Krishna but have we ever thought what the god wants from us. Whether one believes in a religion or not, but we all appreciate true act of kindness and compassion. To truly understand the God we people should stop debating about scriptures and religious texts; this only lets down our faith in the almighty!

Dalai Lama once said, “Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.”

If we have lost our feeling of peace and harmony, it is because that we have put out of our minds that we all are a part of the very same god. I was reading something Bulleh Shah, the great Sufi philosopher once said,

“Break down the mosque, break down the temple

Break down whatever there is besides;

But never break a human heart

That is where God himself resides.”

Let's keep our eyes and ears open, help those who need us. Stand for what is Right and I am sure our good intentions will somehow find the right path! But if this to happen it has to start with me and my family! 

School is Cool!!

I love to see the little children smile as they go off to school. My daughter started her big school this September. Going to school has always been an enjoyable experience for her. Be it back in Dubai at Blossoms or at Kids World here! Just as I expected her initial first week was great, I would take her to her class leave her in with a big hug and she would happily proceed . By second week we started sending her with cousin sister and our driver aka Salim Uncle. 

This transition wasn't so smooth, Smera was not quite happy about going with Salim. She being mamma’s girl found it difficult to let go, by the end of the 2^nd week slowly as she started getting used to it, the poor child fell sick with terrible viral and bout of wheezing. While it’s common for kids to fall sick when they initially start school, but in Smera’s case falling sick was not a big hitch, re-starting the routine was most complicated part.

As a mother it was really tough for me to send teary little one away, to school. I would spend my day restlessly waiting for her to come back and see smile on her face. This is one of the challenges I wanted her to overcome. Smera loves listening to stories and I would tell her about kids who are less fortunate, who want to go school but can’t make it as they don’t have the means to go to school. I would tell how I didn't realise as a child how important school was. As each day passed her anxiety was reducing but the tears still didn't go away!

Just then 17 year old Malala Yousafzai won Noble Peace prize, and this gave me a perfect story to tell Smera. I pulled “I am Malala” book and read the excerpts to little one, where she was shot on her way back from school. This story really moved little Smera, she asked me a lot of questions, “why did the bad men shot her?”. She had a lot of questions in her head, why girls can’t study? Why the bad men killed children who wanted to go to school. After satisfying her curiosity, I explained to Smera education helps us understand between right or wrong. Those bad men didn't want kids to understand that difference. I explained to her, how Malala’s parents stood as strength for her and encouraged her to study and live the life she wanted to.

Image courtesy:  www.malalafund.org

I am not sure how much of the story she understood, but there were two things that she took away from it, firstly education is a greatest gift that god has given her. Secondly, good education will help her become a good ballerina and super heroine girl! My child had such an impact that the next school, she was all smiles and it made extremely proud! 

Thank you Malala you have in many ways have inspired our lives and may god bless you girl! I wish more power to you girl and let there more girls who show the same courage and the determination as you to study. The great part of girls getting educated is that they would ensure the next generation of children would also study.