Fit in or Stand out?

We all live in comfort zones and find it really difficult to part away with it. But such is life, it will bring challenges and will expect you to raise yourself above the petty things and aim at the goal that is set higher. If you are a regular at the blog, then you would know that I love looking for inspiration from people in my life, everyday people like you and me! And so today it’s going to be my eldest niece, Mariah but I love calling her Ammu.

Ammu until this June was studying at the Indian School grade 5, one of the most prestigious CBSE schools in the Oman and was in the CBSE (I) curriculum, which is far more relaxed and than the regular CBSE. However when we decided upon putting Smera into an international school known for strong academics and extra-curricular activities, Ammu seemed excited about this new school for her.

It wasn't going to be a task as she just managed to clear her entrance test in Math and the second challenge set for her was French as opposed to Hindi was going to be the second language and she would have to catch up on her French. The third challenge for Ammu was to make new friends and so far it was easy for her as she joined and grew up from a toddler into a confident and popular 10 year old girl. Now it was going to all back to square one and at 10 it’s a bit more difficult to fit in.

But in all of this she had an advantage as she had an extra month of vacation which she utilised very wisely and got herself enrolled for Math and French coaching. As a result of the challenge that was set in front her, she pushed herself to the limits and in the very first test in French she scored a 100/100 and in Math she scored an 87/100. Since the first week her academic scores have been getting better the ever.

Simultaneously she has been making friends too in her peers and superiors but it is a bit longer process than she had expected. She is trying to make friends without changing the person she is and believe me it’s a tough ask for a 10 yr old. I keep reminding her of all the good parts of her character, while some days are tough but some days are super cool. The problem with the kids at her age is they without realising end up hurting, or bullying their peers. But what is important is not to lose your identity to become one of them.

In life I've learnt that trials are a great way to progress ahead in our lives. Sometimes they may make us feel excited and enthusiastic, while others simply are meant to overwhelm us.  The key is to never to lose your confidence, you may lose everything and get it back with firm belief in yourself. My advice for you and every child would be not to hesitate in taking chances and appreciate whatever you've have learned from a tough situation and you must also understand that every step is necessary in this journey called Life!

I know you've always enjoyed Dr. Seuss, he once said "Why fit in when you were born to stand out?”.  Taking a cue from Dr. Seuss, there is wonderful song that I am leaving for you and I feel best describes your situation. I Love You and you make me very proud girl!! 

Sweet November !!

I love this month! Got god’s best blessing – my Ma, met my hubby for the very first time 11 years ago and also got the most precious gift of my life – my daughter Smera! They all celebrate their birthdays in November. All the scorpions in my life have been the best bunch of crazy rock-stars that make my life electrifying!  

Little Smera celebrates her birthday today as she turned all of 4 years! This year had been tough for her especially with us shifting countries, making new friends, to new schools, but she managed all of it with her charming smile and few tears too alongside. With each passing year, she is becoming crazier like me. I never thought I would say it this early but, “Smera your questions are way too smart for mamma to give you all the answers”.

You are my best friend and my partner in crime. We laugh n cry n tickle n dance sometimes all in the same hour! With you I am getting to re-live me childhood and that is surely the best part of having you! I love it when you give me your lap to sleep and scold your daddy when he troubles me. God bless you girl and here is just as I promised the Princess Elsa cake for your birthday.

You are also becoming naughtier by the day, however I will confess, I love it when you giggle after you have done something mischievous. While I have to confess I am not a perfect mum by any means but you have always made feel proud by just being yourself. However I am little worried about your future plans of wanting to become a fashion show girl, super-heroine girl and Barbie, I hope this year you would find something reasonable real soon. 

Here’s a little piece of advice for this year – be tough, don’t shy but never let anyone make you cry, spread smiles and always remember Mamma and Daddy will always stand by your side!

Silly Saturdays: Fellow asking me to be Mellow

Been a while since I took a dig at myself and that made me wonder why? Answer is quite simple it’s just that the hubby has been quite busy these days and he is one who usually brings the best or the worst out of me. As a consequence of spending sometime with him, this is what happens.

On very silent Thursday morning, while I was gently urging little Smera to drink her milk and get on with getting ready to school. The half awake hubby walks in with his PBJ sandwich and sat down beside us. Munching on his sandwich he heard me yet again to Very Gently Urging her to finish her milk and just then he comments:

Hubby: “Are you not well?”

Me: “No, I am perfectly alright and why do you ask?”

Hubby: “I asked as I’ve never heard you ask Smera to do something so softly.”

Me: “What do you mean that I am always yelling at her?”

Hubby: “Err!! That’s not what I meant. I mean either you are too aggressive or as today extremely mellow.”

Me: “Extremely mellow?”

Hubby: “I mean you need to find the right spot in your voice! Ah I realise my sandwich is finished let me get ready quickly”, and he quickly vanished off from the scene, leaving me fuming.

Meanwhile while we were discussing the pitch of my tone little Smera was giggling and slurping up her chocolate milk and that meant it time to get her into her uniform.

This made me wonder when the better half will really understand to use better choice of words to explain his thoughts! 

A week that went by !!

Being a Stay-At-Home-Mom or SAHM as the new lingo is, is one the most difficult part of job that any mother has do. Now don’t get me wrong, with all due respect it’s a very important job and somebody’s got to do it but the problem is at the end of the it’s a thankless job. I wonder how mums all the over world and over hundreds of years have managed to stay at home all the time and have been happy about it. I have never met a SAHM who has ever complained!

I was brought by an extremely hard working mum, who would be away almost 5 days a week but she made up for that I missed in just two days. Yes of course she missed my report card days (that was mostly on purpose), or school functions etc. But she was always around still and the one thing that I really learnt from her is to be independent! Be it monetarily or emotionally, every woman needs to be self sufficient!

I am currently at a situation where I am absolutely frustrated as I do a little bit of work from home, content writing, blogging etc. but it is just not satisfying my soul. I want to get back to the corporate routine and which is quite impossible right now with no one to look after my little Smera. It feels like living in a jail especially on school days as I have to be on mercy for the hubby to come in early and answer some of the her questions. Since we moved to Muscat we don’t have a baby-sitter so far and the question of having some Me-time is zero.

To help myself feel a little liberated I have started going to my hubby’s office, working on the website content. So my usual routine starts at 4:30 am, and that’s all thanks to my body clock and if knew where it was located I would have long thrown it out of body. Going after sending Smera away to school I get ready and rush to work, work on the content bit till 12:30 come back for houseboy to clean, cook lunch and pick up Smera.

Once Smera is back I am already feeling sleepyishly liberated and that’s when I take her down to play for an hour that is roughly around 5-6 pm. This is the time when I am really doing a security guard’s duty keeping both my eye on her, while she plays. In between other kids from the compound ask the lovely lady aka me the time, to make sure they don’t get in trouble with their mums. Once back from the play I give her a bath followed by then dinner and then I tuck her away by 7 pm.

Image courtesy: Corbis.com

Sigh!! I am feeling almost exhausted writing about it, imagine me dragging my self with that idiotic body clock. Then the laundry, tweeting, whatsapping, facebooking and thinking of the next blog post, while preparing for next day. Sounds extremely chaotic but I am loving it. I just wish if I could find a full-time help at home, which would make it more interesting then I guess.

For now I am happy, for having started working from office instead of my couch! 

Say a little prayer

Every night as I put my little Smera to sleep, I say a prayer thanking god for the things he has blessed us with. Now that she has become big she has started saying her prayers herself. It goes something like this. “Thank you God for the food we eat, thank you god the playground we have, for cheese and chocolate milk Mamma gives and for the Lego that daddy will get me on my birthday. Could you also give me Queen Elsa dress and a big cake? Thank you for everything!!”

Much as it sounds funny, but she is god’s blessed child to have a good childhood for she has good health, good school, healthy food and a home to live in. There are so many who are struggling for their sustenance of the very basic called – Life!

Image: corbis.com

What angers me the most is that we humans are ready to kill each in the name of our religion. And I don’t believe in religions, I only believe in the existence of God and humanity for all. All these religious upheaval happening across the world makes me wonder what are becoming into. I am a Hindu by birth, married to a Christian, lives in an Islamic country but in all of this religion has no importance in my life. I do go to the temple, church, mosque or gurdwara only for one reason they give me peace.

The Quran says, ‘There shall be no compulsion in the matter of faith. Distinct is the way of guidance now from error.’ There is great wisdom hidden in this line, our actions defines our intention and we people will receive only what we intended. Then why not wish for good things for everyone, peace and happiness, wouldn’t the world become a better place then?

We humans fight in the name of Allah, Jesus, Ram, Krishna but have we ever thought what the god wants from us. Whether one believes in a religion or not, but we all appreciate true act of kindness and compassion. To truly understand the God we people should stop debating about scriptures and religious texts; this only lets down our faith in the almighty!

Dalai Lama once said, “Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.”

If we have lost our feeling of peace and harmony, it is because that we have put out of our minds that we all are a part of the very same god. I was reading something Bulleh Shah, the great Sufi philosopher once said,

“Break down the mosque, break down the temple

Break down whatever there is besides;

But never break a human heart

That is where God himself resides.”

Let's keep our eyes and ears open, help those who need us. Stand for what is Right and I am sure our good intentions will somehow find the right path! But if this to happen it has to start with me and my family! 

School is Cool!!

I love to see the little children smile as they go off to school. My daughter started her big school this September. Going to school has always been an enjoyable experience for her. Be it back in Dubai at Blossoms or at Kids World here! Just as I expected her initial first week was great, I would take her to her class leave her in with a big hug and she would happily proceed . By second week we started sending her with cousin sister and our driver aka Salim Uncle. 

This transition wasn't so smooth, Smera was not quite happy about going with Salim. She being mamma’s girl found it difficult to let go, by the end of the 2^nd week slowly as she started getting used to it, the poor child fell sick with terrible viral and bout of wheezing. While it’s common for kids to fall sick when they initially start school, but in Smera’s case falling sick was not a big hitch, re-starting the routine was most complicated part.

As a mother it was really tough for me to send teary little one away, to school. I would spend my day restlessly waiting for her to come back and see smile on her face. This is one of the challenges I wanted her to overcome. Smera loves listening to stories and I would tell her about kids who are less fortunate, who want to go school but can’t make it as they don’t have the means to go to school. I would tell how I didn't realise as a child how important school was. As each day passed her anxiety was reducing but the tears still didn't go away!

Just then 17 year old Malala Yousafzai won Noble Peace prize, and this gave me a perfect story to tell Smera. I pulled “I am Malala” book and read the excerpts to little one, where she was shot on her way back from school. This story really moved little Smera, she asked me a lot of questions, “why did the bad men shot her?”. She had a lot of questions in her head, why girls can’t study? Why the bad men killed children who wanted to go to school. After satisfying her curiosity, I explained to Smera education helps us understand between right or wrong. Those bad men didn't want kids to understand that difference. I explained to her, how Malala’s parents stood as strength for her and encouraged her to study and live the life she wanted to.

Image courtesy:  www.malalafund.org

I am not sure how much of the story she understood, but there were two things that she took away from it, firstly education is a greatest gift that god has given her. Secondly, good education will help her become a good ballerina and super heroine girl! My child had such an impact that the next school, she was all smiles and it made extremely proud! 

Thank you Malala you have in many ways have inspired our lives and may god bless you girl! I wish more power to you girl and let there more girls who show the same courage and the determination as you to study. The great part of girls getting educated is that they would ensure the next generation of children would also study.

A frozen quagmire !!

Our lives have been changed completely ever since the day Disney released its movie Frozen. This has been by far her most favourite movie after Cinderalla and Mary Poppins. The love for the movie has turned into a craze and little girl has been heavily negotiating for a Frozen dress, shoes, doll and anything and everything related to it. Phew!! Now we managed to postpone all this for almost 11 months saying “we’ll get it for your birthday” and now the birthday is round the corner and I have a feeling we’re going to be in a soup!

She loves anything and everything related Queen Else and Princess Anna. Infact it is also her current ambition to become the Queen of Arendelle and make a snow man with her magical powers. What has been adding up to my problems is the fact, that she watches all the toy reviews too on the Ipad and has been keeping herself updated to all the new things that are available in the toy market.

Now birthday just 2 weeks away, our child has not forgotten our promises, that we had been making to her and I have a feeling that if didn’t do something about it we are going to have a mammoth confrontation. To save ourselves from a prospective ugly situation, I started scouting all shops in the city that could possibly have the Blue Queen Elsa dress, but soon I realised that I had bitten off more than I could chew. Now that not it, at this instant my task is to how convince the little child to change her mind on the dress. Being her father’s daughter that she, this too is no small challenge as she’s – a tough negotiator!

So lovely Friday evening, I summoned the little child and on sanguine note, I started the conversation talking about ballerinas and how wonderful they look, their costume is so pretty. Slowly Smera started looking a bit interested in the conversation entire conversation. Then I also confessed to in my most apologetic voice saying, “Darling, I have not been able to find the Blue Elsa Dress you have been wanting for your birthday. I am sorry can we please change your party theme to ballerina theme?” Smera was most understanding and said, “don’t worry Mamma, I know you can get it from Walmart, I am sure you will get it there, they say it on the Ipad!

Right to make sure she has her desired birthday dress, I will have a take trip to the US and visit the Walmart store! Thank you Walmart for giving me a new headache!

Alarming insight

Yet another weekend is here and I felt like putting up my feet and watching a nice movie. I switch on the TV, I put on a romcom and start writing this post while watching a movie and I am thinking - What kind of man do you like? Is it the intellectual types or the guy who loves music or a man who loves to click pictures or someone who just smells enchanting! Well, my man is the kinds who is the intellectual types and also loves indulging in exquisite perfumes.

But hey I am not planning to write on how to find the right guy for yourself! Instead it’s going to be all about, how the right guy can get you into trouble with the building maintenance guys! My hubby loves his perfumes, he stashes them everywhere, in the car, in his laptop bag, the bathroom, doesn’t even spare the shoe-rack, name a place you can spot it there!

However I have taught myself to live his obsession, but of late it has been getting giving me a headache. Not because of the fragrance but because of the fire alarm ringing in my ears. The building maintenance guys have upgraded my flats alarm system just last month. Ever since the fire alarm has become ultra-sensitive to the slightest whiff of anything.

It mostly goes off just as the hubby as about step outside, the house, and the reason – before getting out of the house hubby like to douse himself in the Perfume! Now no matter where the location is of this act is the hypersensitive alarm sniffs it and shouts out loud. For the first few days I used to call the building maintenance guys to bail me out of the situation, but then even they got fed up! So with no choice I had to learn on how to disable the fire alarm and reset the gas connection which is all inter-linked in this building.

And just as I got one more thing to tease my hubby and feeling smug about my recently acquired DIY skills the alarm went off, again. But I figured that the usual suspect is not around. Quickly through the process of elimination I found the villain – the boiling sambar this time! 

Something Fishy !!

We Indians love to eat! Sweet, sour, savoury, spicy name we love it. To top it up we Malayalees along with our fellow Bengalis and Goans most certainly love our fish and rice. However I grew up in Delhi so my palate is a bit different, more towards the northern side of India. Rajma Chawal, parathe, dal-subzi-roti kind of palate, while I do like an occasional fish curry or grilled fish.

Hubby and me have very different likings when it comes too food, I love Rajma which he hates and he loves Unakka chemeen (dry prawns) which I just can’t stand. But we have a lot in common too. As a true Delhite I love chats and samosas and so does the hubby and we both hate tuna and salmons. But what really got me to right about this fishy post today is a humble paratha.

I decided to make parathas for the hubby, aloo gobhi parathas and just as I stepped into the kitchen, he followed me to set up his plate with obligatory accompaniments curd and pickle. Just as I was about to take off the first paratha, I asked him:

Me: You will have two na?

Hubby: Suddenly feeling all nervous, he asks “Tuna”?

Me: Yeah? And then suddenly realising, “Not Tuna, I meant two parathas”

Hubby: Feeling relieved said, “yes of course”. For a moment he had his heart in mouth thinking the wifey is going to serve Tuna parathas for dinner.

He was grateful that good sense prevailed and that I didn’t made him eat something exotic even for a fish lover. Now I know what to give him, in case I am feeling vindictive, ha ha !! 

Perks of Parenting: Awesomeness decoded!

The past week has been extremely thrilling as my daughter started her trial classes at the big school. And as I would go back to pick her up after an hour of the trial run, I am flooded with compliments on how wonderful Smera is at practice sessions.

Motherhood is not at all an easy project, as it usually doesn't come with an end date or instruction manual and I have a lot of reasons to tell you why you should not have a child. But not today! Today I am going to blabber all about why you should have kids and not miss out on a prospective source of exuberance in your lives.

1. It’s amazing when someone says “OMG is that your daughter/son?” It some how suddenly makes you feel light years younger. Forget the age defying face creams, the hair colors and other expensive spa treatments. This one line works better than all of those.

2. You can get away with the long queues at the doctors, immigration, passport office, you name it and voila it’s done. I recently skipped a line of 50 odd people at the immigration counter, all thanks to my little munchkin.  

3. For once you can be colour coordinated and not look silly.

4. You don’t need a travel buddy anymore, your child automatically upgrades to the best travel mate ever and the spouses can go for a hike! I mean not literally, then that would more fun!

5. Chances are as your child grows they might look an updated version of you! If they take on the spouse’s looks then you can take all the credit for the good parts of their character. 

6. Personal achievements mean nothing in front of your off-springs success. A parent really experiences their hearts being pumped in with pride into every chamber and ventricle of the heart.

7. Moreover your parents suddenly love you more, as you give them the best gift of their lives – the joy of being grandparents. Guess that is what showers of blessings are.

8. You are up to date with the latest on games, movies, music and the works. Definitely helps boost a parent’s confidence immensely when you can understand what the younger generation is talking about! Makes you feel in vogue.

9.  You get to make more friends and most importantly we somehow end up finding useful/VIP contacts, thanks to their friends list.

10. You get to re-learn about life in general – finding happiness in small things, thinking out of the box and the joy of giggling for no reason.