Feels like living underwater

I feel like closing my eyes and ears to the world, to be able to live in utopia for a while.  To survive in today’s time I must become numb to everything that is going around me. These are dangerous times war, rapes, murders, planes crashes and lords knows what else. Just when I was watching another shocking piece of news on the television, I stumbled upon a quote from Albert Camus “In order to understand the world, one has to turn away from it on occasion.”

But I guess even if I were to turn away for a bit, I don’t think things are going to change.  I sometimes wonder what kind of world is my little one growing up in. Of course my blood boiled even then when I was not a mother, call it being selfish but I want a better world for my daughter.

My perspective has changed the way I think ever since Smera came into our lives. So when I hear a 6 year old raped in school and just yesterday an 8 year old raped by a relative and hung on a tree, it gives me a shiver down the spine. Where are kids safe then if not at school or at home? My daughter is almost turning 4 and this is a really scary reality.

I can understand a bit how painful it must be for parents whose children fall victims to such perverts! A mother’s heart breaks into thousand pieces when a child gets hurt forget even being able to understand how it must feel to see your child being threatened or abused. My heart goes out to all those mothers who are going through this pain and have lived the day and survived it.

To be honest I think we are talking more about it than ever, but that’s not enough! Is that enough?  We must change ourselves, to expect wonders to happen overnight would be foolish and the first step has to be ours.

I am going to teach and help Smera understand what’s a good touch and bad touch. It’s good to respect others but she will start with herself. She must learn to respect for herself and only then others would follow suit.  We should not let our children underestimate their inner strength, find that strength and learn to say to NO to what is wrong! For starters I’ll start with this video from Childline India and Body Shop Malaysia that has come up with a great to reach out to children like mine. 

Please do view and share these videos if you really care about our children!  

Kill the cliché

We parents spend many sleepless nights. Nights when our little one just would stay wake after a bad dream or if she has been unwell, we would take turns to check on her. And 29^th December was a night like that, but this time it was for someone else’s daughter and it was not just a bad dream.

Nirbhaya, Jyoti, Amanat or Damini however you would refer the young girl had lost her life the previous day.  This really shook me up. I am not saying that of the other cases of brutality doesn’t count - but it’s the sheer spitefulness with which she was tortured make it gut wrenching and unbearable. Reading or even worst imagining what happened to still sends shudders down my spine.

Today’s is the 5^th of January and let me make a little prediction here, on what is going to happen over the next few weeks. The protests will fade away and people will slowly return back to normal life. The media would then be chasing yet another scam or a failed cricket series. Politicians would move on to yet another mud slinging match. At least one Bollywood studio would announce a movie based on this. Thanks to all the embarrassment shone so far on the establishment, the perpetrators would get closer to their march towards the gallows. And then, we’ll all move on with our lives.

Call me a cynic – we held candle light vigils after 26/11, we rooted for Anna Hazare, we were outraged for what happened to Jessica Lal, Priyadarsini Mattu and Arushi Talwar. But the sad truth is that once people leave the streets, media vans retreat and when we get back to our daily struggle – we forget. And the life goes on until the next one happens.

Yeah I know what you are thinking – this time it is different. That makes two of us, this time it is different for me too. Really? I am a woman, I have a daughter and I am from Delhi. This has hit me so hard, this time violence have come home – I do not know what is my dominant emotion here – anger, shame, distress, helplessness.

I know for a fact that if I want to see a Delhi where my daughter can move around without fear, I need this time to be different. We need to stand up and make a difference.

I am not going to let this one incident stop me, I will not let this fear shadow her future. I start with myself – with a bit of soul-searching. I am not going to wait for the change to happen; I am going to be the change I want to see.

Let us start respecting everyone and let’s stop this prejudice against the female gender. Let each one teach one - how to respect others!  Let’s keep the pressure on the government to do their part, but hey we can help too, by sensitising people around us, by standing up when we see someone being abused and by giving courage for the people who need them. It's not just about girls, even the boys are not safe in such a society!

I’ll start from my home. I am teaching my little one to respect everyone and at the same time she understands that she isn’t any lesser to anybody. And that she needs to stand up for herself, and if that means she spends time learning Karate, so be it.

Let us all try in our own little ways, to help ourselves and anyone who needs support. Let’s not just complain, rather take small steps to create the reality we want to see.

Let’s kill the cliché, and make this time really different. 

Image courtesy: google.com