Behind every hero dad is a villain mom

I used to be a huge movie buff before Smera happened to me. Times have changed and so have my priority in life. I’d rather sleep for 2 hours than sit and watch a movie. Having said that, it does not mean the drama is out of my life too. My life feels like an on-going Bollywood movie. I usually end up playing the negative role and time and again my hubby turns out to be the hero.

Take for instance, when Smera does not eat properly, throws tantrum to brush and take bath or misbehaves, I end up scolding her. That’s normal bit, but then hubby would enter the scene out of no where like a hero in the script. He’d then ask me to let it go, in turn making me ever more furious. These are so well rehearsed by now I can even visualise fight sequences.  

Smera’s tantrums are proportional to the number of people around her - she is very easy to handle alone. This make it worse for me and I end up showcasing my monster self to the rest of the world. Usually these moments make feel like Gabbar from Sholay, Jahanpanah Akbar from Mughal-e-Azam or the Joker from Dark Knight.

I know I am little tough when it comes to disciplining the little one and I know I can go a little easy on her. But when someone praises her it feels like my own personal victory. For me the biggest challenges lies in this is department is finding the middle-path.

I guess, I am always on the extremes, be it when it comes to scolding her or being nice to her. Over the top just out of a blockbuster Farah Khan movie, almost verging on senselessness. Smera always ends up complaining to her dad about me. Just a few hours ago I heard her complain to the father, “Daddy, Mamma is kissing me”. Instantly the father instructs, “Mamma can you go easy on the kisses”.

Phew!! Such is life, getting in trouble for kissing your own daughter.

Totally Bollywoodish isn’t it?   

Image: gettyimages.ae

Silly Saturdays: Art of speaking properly!

If you too have a toddler at home just like me, then this is just the post to read. My daughter has very clear priorities when it comes to food. Anything that spells chicken makes her extremely happy. On a recent evening Smera was yet again hungry post her dinner.

hungry child 

Smera: “Mamma, I am hungry”

Me:  “What do you want to eat Smera? Shall I give you rice?”

Smera: “Yes with chicken”

Me: (Turning to hubby) “there is no chicken, shall I offer her S-A-U-S-A-G-E-S?” I purposely spelt this one out as hubby is not huge fan of Smera eating sausages.

Smera: On seeing me take so time to spell it out, she blurts out, “Mamma can you please speak properly? Daddy cannot understand”.

To be fair to her, I did take time to spell the word sausages, courtesy enhanced technology we use these days. I am sure many of us find it hard to get the spelling right, relying too much on squiggles and auto-prompt assistance.

Hence the hungry child lashed out on me, making me feel really silly!

Image: gettyimages.ae

A forgettable summer !!

The month of June was really forgettable one for many reasons. Zero motivation, summer turning me into a devil, getting a year older, a dear friend moving off to London and my temper along with Dubai temperature hitting the roof. Hitting the year’s all time low, even the words in my head dried up.

Image: gettyimages.ae

Guess it was just time to head out on a much needed vacation back home. Just as I step out of the airport with an excited toddler and hubby, the hometown welcomes me with the aromatic smell of the wet soil. As if even Gods were tired seeing my plight and telling me to cheer up.

I was going to meet my twin nephews of eight months for the first time and nothing could have been more exciting than that. We were going home for their baptism and the best part was all the having the entire family joining in for the celebrations. 10 days of – hubby’s house bursting with kids, six to be precise. Not to mention foods galore, midnight snacking and no connectivity to outside world.

For little Smera the vacation was an excellent experience, though I must admit the start was a little rough. Smera was over the moon see her baby twin cousins – Jacob and Joshua. Keen to carry them in her arms, she often found herself in trouble with me. During the time when she was not fighting with me she was with her cousin sisters, splashing in the pool, making scrambled eggs and baking cakes under her dad’s supervision.  

It was like living life in a flashback, catching fireflies, mending old toys and stealing ice-cream from the fridge. No wonder coming back to Dubai, I am feeling lost all over again. But that’s not the only reason why I am feeling low, I indulged a bit too much in junk food, hogging up all the things that I avoid during the year. 

Silly Saturday: Home delivery

Just like any other toddler Smera has a weakness when it comes to mobile phones. So as over-protective mobile lovers we got her a little toy phone almost a year ago. She didn't quite like it then, obviously was not as interesting as ours. But suddenly she has taken a liking to the toy. She loves to pretend having serious conversation over her toy phone.

Here is an excerpt from the conversation tapped by MBI. Yes you guessed it right Mommy Bureau of Investigation.

Smera: Hello Saravana? Do you have two illy (read idly)?

Smera: Daddy what do you want? Dosa?

Daddy: Yes angel!

Smera: Excuse me one dosa. No oil and coffee.

This is our regular order on Friday mornings at Sarvana but what made us laugh is the seriousness with which Smera efficiently ordered over the phone.

Lesson to learn: Never underestimate a two and half year old's ears! 

Image: gettyimages.ae

Very berrylicious

Smera has been grounded at home for the last few days. She fell down from a tricycle and injured her arm. At this stage more than injury, it’s boredom that is irritating her the most. So the dad and daughter duo decided to bake mixed berry cupcake and I have evidence to show that my daughter is refined assistant chef.

But there are always two sides to the coin, isn't it? Much as they look nice, they were under cooked. So we took the picture and popped them back in the oven. They came out slightly burnt, very dry and sour as the berries were not tossed well in sugar. The sour bit is my mistake to be honest, my diet-conscious self didn't allow me to put in enough sugar!

If that was not enough, I even went and shared a few mildly atrocious cupcakes to my lovely neighbour Beena Di. She actually did deserve it primarily for two reasons:

1. For her love for Smera
2. The eggs in the recipe came from her home. 

Freewinds - Mama and baby had a big fall

Have you ever felt like going back in time? Maybe to re-live some cherished moments or to undo some mistakes we must have done. With this thought I am going to start a new segment - Freewinds! Taking time out to look back on what has happened in past, re-learn, refresh and maybe even re-live. This post is somewhat re-living what happened many years back.

I must have been in 5^th or 6^th std, it was raining very heavily. Amma wanted to get something from the nearby grocery store, so I instantly offered to help her. This was my chance to go for a walk in the rain. As I walked through the rain enjoying suddenly ground beneath me disappeared. It took me a while to realise that I had fallen into a manhole.

With my leg stuck between metal pieces, I couldn't get out. Noticing the delay in returning, Amma came looking for me and found me stuck in the manhole. She pulled me out, hugged tightly and took me home. For the rest, I do not remember except the stinging pain thanks to the fall and tetanus shot. 

The reason why I am reminded of this incident today is, my little Smera fell down from her tricycle and slightly fractured her arm. It all happened in front of my eyes and I just couldn't anything. Felt like Deja vu, just that the characters were different, I am the mum and Smera the daughter.

It was good fortune the hospital was 5 minutes away, so couldI rush her in for a quick check. My worst fear came true when the doctor said it’s a slight fracture and we need to straighten her bone. Brave little one did all this without anesthesia and got her a pink bandage to match with most of her clothes in her wardrobe. 

This entire incident has made wonder what my parents would have gone through each time I fell down and came home hurt and bleeding. This is the tough part of being a parent, to watch them fall. 

Smera has been astonishingly courageous during this whole period. It goes without saying that she gets frustrated and irritated when it itches a lot, but even then a little distraction helps her forget. I am sure this is not the only time we will be feeling like this. But that’s what growing up is!

Kudos to my little Smera, you make me and daddy so proud!

Images courtesy: gettyimages.ae

Silly Saturdays: Driven to the wall

Once you have taken a long sabbatical to become a mom, it becomes a very difficult after 2-3 years later to get back to work. Ask me about it. I have been struggling with to take this decision for over a year.

So decided to discuss this with mum/mentor, a lady who has innumerable times given me just enough push to get me started, whenever things have not worked for me right. 

Here is the inspiration discussion I had with my mum.

Me: Amma, I think it’s time I get back work. What do you think?

Mom: That would be good for you. With our little Smera growing up, it would just the right time for you to start looking around.

Me: So then I’ll start looking out soon after our july vacation.

Mom: Hmm … on second thoughts, (sporting a grin) why don’t try your luck at the RTA as a taxi driver!  With you being always to on the road picking and dropping people. That would be just the right job for you.

If that was not enough to offend me, my little one too left no stone un-turned to make me feel terrible.

Me: Smera come on darling, sit on my lap and let’s go out for breakfast!

Smera: No, I want to sit on daddy lap

Me: Ok

Smera: Mamma you go drive, daddy sits next to me!

It takes an open heart to notice the signs God sends, and then it takes courage to accept them with gratitude. But should this be considered as god’s sign or Silly Saturdays!

I cannot blame myself for not having a drive.

Image courtesy: speakmovement.com

Accidental learning

I have said this number of times.  I have learnt a lot from my two year old – it feels back to school days. Take for instance, the case of a Sting-Ray, I only really came to know about this creature after Smera started recognising them. Then there is the difference between a turtle and a tortoise or how to distinguish seal from a sea-lion and to explain how an alligator is different from a crocodile. Of course, all these are testament to my lack of appreciation of marine biology and the result of Smera’s overdeveloped sense of curiosity, fueled by her weekly trips to the Dubai aquarium.

But that’s not the type of learning what I want to talk about today. We learn everyday to be better individuals, trying to be good parents to her. There have been days when I have felt my patience thinning out like an over-stretched rubber-band trying to potty train her. It’s like playing snakes and ladders, some days we go up the learning curve and some days we go back where we started.  

Last week after a potty training accident, I was really upset one evening, thinking to myself, why can I not teach her this? Then I tend to question myself, what is it that I am doing wrong? Just then she comes and sits on my lap and says “Mamma are you upset?”. I nodded my head to say yes and then gently putting her head on my shoulder and said, “I am sorry”.  

Image: gettyimages.ae

And this made me re-realise, that I have read and I am familiar to the theory bit of being a parent, it’s the practical execution that is much tougher. That is probably the reason why I tend to be hard on myself, expecting miracles on every first attempt. But that’s when little comforting words like, “I love you mamma” or “pretty mamma”, lets me validate on the job done well. 

Even though she drives me insane, it’s Smera herself that helps me find my balance, pushes me to be a better person. When you grow, darling I want you to know that its not you that I was never upset with you.  I am usually bugged with myself that I cannot teach you better or be more tolerant. Just when I feel everything is falling apart, your comforting words, your hug and kiss make me feel better. That’s my lesson for today and for once, I am glad it is non-aquatic. 

Silly Saturdays: Baby talk

Smera loves to talk these days. She likes to make big conversations, absorbing all that we say and things that she observes. Sometime you will be amazed and sometimes it just cracks us up.

Her class teacher Ms Afsha always has something interesting to narrate to us when go back to pick her up. And so one day as I went to pick Smera, Ms. Afsha mentions about this funny conversation between Smera and the teacher assistant (TA).

Smera: I will get a baby!

TA: Oh! Is mommy having a baby?

Smera: No! She will buy it for me from the sukamarket (i.e. supermarket)

Another day her ex-class teacher thought, I was having a baby. Thanks to my lovely daughter who keeps talking about her mama getting her a baby from the sukamarket! 

Living through the midweek crisis

I use the word crisis a moderate term to explain my frustration.  Dubai has been invaded by horrendous weather and the summers have just started. Yes they are here to stay and so is my irritable mood. Not just that, I have been having this harassing headache for more than a week.  Well it’s not as big as I am making it sound, but my sinus troubles are back.

Image: gettyimages

Well that’s not the end of it. Nope it was just the tip of the ice-berg! I have put on a kilo that I had lost with great difficulty. The best thing would be to do some extreme cardio – sprinting or brisk walking. That sounds easy right, not really when you have no stamina to do this any more than 10-15 mins.

That again is not end to my sob story. Sigh! I still had one more problem – uncontrollable hunger pangs. Whenever I fall sick or am depressed, I end up hogging on a lot of food. And so even in such a terrible state, I managed to visit Bikarnerwala and Puranmal to gorge on chaat and kachories.

I am sure I can go on cribbing for the rest of my life, but I have decided not to ponder over it too much as little Smera is ready to head out. With hubby away for a day, I have planned an exciting day out for today. Starting with - breakfast at Sarvana, hair-cut and painting toes at the parlour, afternoon siesta, evening swim and then finishing the night with our favourite movie – Lion King!

Once all this is done, I am going to cuddle her and sleep off this disastrous .  And if for some reason that too does not help, I will eventually sort to some retail therapy thanks to hubby’s credit card.