Tough luck

A 4 year old boy was recently expelled from my daughter’s class in KG -1. The school was forced to take this drastic step against the child as he was continually disrupting the class. But what was more defeating in all of this is the fact the parents were in denial that their child could such a thing.

The problem started right from the very beginning of the class in September. The boy would bite his fellow classmates and occasionally push or kick them too. Smera too was bitten and we asked her to complain to the class teacher instantly. A month into the class this continued, so I spoke to the academic supervisor regarding the matter was asked to send a written complaint. The supervisor was asked to prove that the child really was biting by his parents. Forced to provide proof to the parents, she decided to urge parents to send in written complaints.

At first I refused to give in a written complaint. I wanted to give the boy a fair chance as I was not sure if Smera was exaggerating. As a mother I could understand another mother’s situation too. It is difficult to hear when our child does something wrong and I am really no one to judge about the little boy’s character. So as days passed on, Smera continued to grumble until one day when she came back home with a bite mark on her wrist.  And that was it, I didn't want Smera to think that it is okay to bite. So I finally sent an email to the supervisor, explaining the incident and hoping that this time the parents would not ignore the incident.

After the email, I very rarely heard Smera complaining about her friend. Though she would tell me of how her other classmates were bitten by the same boy. And then just this week I was informed by the supervisor that the boy has been expelled from school. The reason cited was that the boy was given plenty of chances to improve and the school no longer wanted to be held responsible for anything untoward happening to other students.

We were not the only parents who had complained. But did the school do right by putting the child out of the school? In my opinion, maybe not! The child of course every child needs to know the difference between good and bad, right and wrong but not all children are the same. I think it was a very harsh decision on a 4 year old. Maybe they could have waited for few months for the year to get over, this way the child would have saved an academic year. I am sure the parents could have helped a bit more to help their child deal with his aggressive behaviour.

Discipline cannot be taught overnight and definitely not by punishing the child. What we must remember is that every child is different and a child needs our love the most particularly when he is not worthy of it!  

Fit in or Stand out?

We all live in comfort zones and find it really difficult to part away with it. But such is life, it will bring challenges and will expect you to raise yourself above the petty things and aim at the goal that is set higher. If you are a regular at the blog, then you would know that I love looking for inspiration from people in my life, everyday people like you and me! And so today it’s going to be my eldest niece, Mariah but I love calling her Ammu.

Ammu until this June was studying at the Indian School grade 5, one of the most prestigious CBSE schools in the Oman and was in the CBSE (I) curriculum, which is far more relaxed and than the regular CBSE. However when we decided upon putting Smera into an international school known for strong academics and extra-curricular activities, Ammu seemed excited about this new school for her.

It wasn't going to be a task as she just managed to clear her entrance test in Math and the second challenge set for her was French as opposed to Hindi was going to be the second language and she would have to catch up on her French. The third challenge for Ammu was to make new friends and so far it was easy for her as she joined and grew up from a toddler into a confident and popular 10 year old girl. Now it was going to all back to square one and at 10 it’s a bit more difficult to fit in.

But in all of this she had an advantage as she had an extra month of vacation which she utilised very wisely and got herself enrolled for Math and French coaching. As a result of the challenge that was set in front her, she pushed herself to the limits and in the very first test in French she scored a 100/100 and in Math she scored an 87/100. Since the first week her academic scores have been getting better the ever.

Simultaneously she has been making friends too in her peers and superiors but it is a bit longer process than she had expected. She is trying to make friends without changing the person she is and believe me it’s a tough ask for a 10 yr old. I keep reminding her of all the good parts of her character, while some days are tough but some days are super cool. The problem with the kids at her age is they without realising end up hurting, or bullying their peers. But what is important is not to lose your identity to become one of them.

In life I've learnt that trials are a great way to progress ahead in our lives. Sometimes they may make us feel excited and enthusiastic, while others simply are meant to overwhelm us.  The key is to never to lose your confidence, you may lose everything and get it back with firm belief in yourself. My advice for you and every child would be not to hesitate in taking chances and appreciate whatever you've have learned from a tough situation and you must also understand that every step is necessary in this journey called Life!

I know you've always enjoyed Dr. Seuss, he once said "Why fit in when you were born to stand out?”.  Taking a cue from Dr. Seuss, there is wonderful song that I am leaving for you and I feel best describes your situation. I Love You and you make me very proud girl!! 

Staying positive amid a persistent bacteria

Continuing from where I left last time, I finally decided to make some me time for myself and yes it made a huge difference to me and to my habibi. Felt great as I sat down at the coffee shop and had de rigueur break from routine. While for the habibi turned out to be a rather expensive affair! As a dutiful wife I also indulged in shopping to give myself extra dose of contentment to please my humble soul.

The coming back home a friend of mine sent me an email, a usual chit chat after many months on the emails. We did our usual gossiping and then I am mentioned about my recurrent infection situation. To which she mentioned something that she read long back “life challenges us with the fact that everything can be done better.”

In our entire conversation this line left me with a  great impact, of course the shopping too had made me feel real good.

Just as was planned the UTI report came and confirmed it was yet again klebsiella pneumoniae. Now here’s the problem even after three courses of antibiotics this naughty bacteria has resisting, and these notorious Klebsiella organisms are often resistant to most antibiotics available.

So I thought to myself whining is not going to solve this Klebsiella problem. With a little pain and with lots of love I have been spot around the building grinning and sporting of my cannula. It’s day three now and still have a good possibility it might continue for another four more days but we’ll take it as it comes.

Corbis.com

Now good thing about being A+ blood group person is, that we naturally are a very positive set of people. And going around the hospital smiling and sweet talking to the administration staff has definitely gotten me some good discount :D

But there is another problem when you fall sick one gets advice from all corners, some might be good or bad but that has definitely given inspiration for my next post.

Cheers! 

Du-bye

Something is different as I write today. It’s not weather or the mood but it’s the backdrop, towering mountains have replaced the skyscrapers.

Change as they say is inevitable, and so it was time for us to move from Dubai to Muscat. We are all set for new challenges, goals, happiness, frustrations and learning’s here in Muscat.

Dubai has been really kind to us. We continue to be great fans of Dubai, of course every place has its own challenges but the city with each passing day tends to grow on you.  For many it might be the city with biggest and tallest, for me it has been the city of firsts!

It was almost 7 years ago I got married and came to Dubai join my hubby. To be honest, at first I didn’t like place very much but in a matter of few months I started calling it home. We set our first house together, done it up to call it our home, bought our first car, and mastered the art of DIY thanks to frequent trips to IKEA among many other things.  But nothing beats the pleasure of being first-time parents.

Little Smera was born here in Dubai and she filled our lives with immense joy. Staying away from family, it was difficult to raise an infant all by ourselves with no prior experience, but it got us closer to each other as partners.

We have been extremely fortunate on our career front and especially my husband who has been part of an outstanding company for the last 10 years. RSA has been extremely generous and supportive of him and his ambitions. In fact Smera is truly a RSA baby with pink and purple being favourite colours, true to the brand colours of the company.

Taking a sabbatical from work to enjoy motherhood, it was here I first tried my hands at blogging and I must admit I am addicted to it (thanks you for supporting my addiction !).

 There are numerous memories tied with this city and I am really going to miss it. The friends we made, our house (no, home), our favourite food joints and so many other things. However I am sure we are going to make many more new memories and I would love to share it with you all too here on Sangrywords!

To Muscat it is, here we come, with a little prayer in our heart, smile on our faces and hope in our minds to start a new chapter!

Where the mind is held without fear

2013 has been a yet another remarkable year for me. Personally it was a fabulous year and there is nothing that I could complain about. I set out this year to learn something new and I have to confess that I have not learnt anything that significant. Yes maybe a few small things here n there, but mostly about myself.

What I have come realise is that I need to get back to work and that will be the only resolution I take upon myself for the year 2014.

The year has been challenging for most of us as Indians. With the inflation sky-rocketing, corruption of all kinds setting new record-high levels and treating our fellow Indians less than equal. This has just pushed us generations back, more like the dark ages, when ignorance and lack of education prevailed.

Was life this complicated or unsafe, 20 years back when were growing up or was it we were unaware? I wish and dream of India and us as Indians setting new benchmarks in the world. Not going back to the dark ages. I stay away from the country and in a funny way I feel more Indian than ever before. 

I feel sad when a girl is brutally gang-raped, or when children go missing from their homes, good health-care is un-affordable and children falling sick after eating mid-day meals provided at schools. I want to see a society where we are not forced to live in fear.

I pray in 2014 more children go to school, people have mutual respect for everyone, let there be smiles on everyone’s face. If each one helps even if only one, even then we can achieve a lot. Let’s the cities, towns and villages be more safe for children. Compassion and empathy should pave for the change, that we are really hungry for now. 

I hate watching the news channel with depressing and heart-wrenching stories. If I want the best for my child when it comes education, health and food then why should it be any different for anyone else. The problem is more in our heads that makes us feel superior to others. If only we all practise gratitude that is the core of Indian culture, the country would be a much better place to live in.

Just last evening I was met a young boy at a coffee shop. He was thrilled to see the book I was reading “I am Malala”. He too comes from the same country as Malala and was glad to see the world can read everyday problems people are facing. He said, “Malala is just one of millions of girls who want to study” and that he wanted to go back home to teach kids in his village after he finishes his education.  At 17 he had a clear vision of what he wanted for his nation.

I think we too ask ourselves the same question what do we want and that I guess will answer most of our problems.

Let there peace, happiness, love and clarity in our hearts. For a better India and an even better world in 2014. 

Image courtesy: Amul.com, an utterly honest brand! 

Mary and Martha made me feel really helpless tonight

Just finished watching a movie called Mary and Martha - watching the movie has made me feel really small in my own eyes.  Sometimes just surviving life is enough for some people and we are lucky to have good education, jobs, kids, happy families, bank balance, annual vacations and much more! There are some movies that are just meant to shake you up, get you out of this dream and that is what this movie has exactly aimed at doing.

The movie plot if you may ask is - The two women turn their grief into action, hoping to thwart the disease, which the World Health Organization estimates killed 660,000 people in 2010, most of them African children. The movie builds to a scene in which the women testify before a Congressional subcommittee. In the process, Mary and Martha come to realize that the losses experienced by two comfortable white Western households are atypical, and that the real impact of malaria is on parts of the world that few people in their circles know or care about. 

 

Image: Telegraph.co.uk

But what it meant to me is that, sitting and cribbing about the government would not help. We need to make little steps, in our lives to make our environment a better place. Each one can teach one, or you could sponsor somebody’s medical cost, fund a child’s education. Imagine if we all did just one good thing what a better place it would be.

As a ritual, we don’t celebrate in family my birthdays or other big occasion with grandeur, have lavish parties or expensive gifts. We give that money back to the community where it could be used more wisely. Even then I felt so small after watching this movie, leaving me with the feeling that I am not doing enough.  And so I urge you watch this movie, with your kids, spend sometime doing a little for your community. If nothing else it will surely give you peace in life, which is what we all are craving for in our lives.

 

Image: Mirror.co.uk

Don’t go looking to far, you can start from home – give lady who comes to clean a little extra money, give the watchman who guards your building some groceries, buying books the ironing lady’s children or just spend time at an orphanage or an old age home.

We can play a little part, let us not wait for the change to happen, let us make it happen!

Credits:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_and_Martha_(film)