Sweet November !!

I love this month! Got god’s best blessing – my Ma, met my hubby for the very first time 11 years ago and also got the most precious gift of my life – my daughter Smera! They all celebrate their birthdays in November. All the scorpions in my life have been the best bunch of crazy rock-stars that make my life electrifying!  

Little Smera celebrates her birthday today as she turned all of 4 years! This year had been tough for her especially with us shifting countries, making new friends, to new schools, but she managed all of it with her charming smile and few tears too alongside. With each passing year, she is becoming crazier like me. I never thought I would say it this early but, “Smera your questions are way too smart for mamma to give you all the answers”.

You are my best friend and my partner in crime. We laugh n cry n tickle n dance sometimes all in the same hour! With you I am getting to re-live me childhood and that is surely the best part of having you! I love it when you give me your lap to sleep and scold your daddy when he troubles me. God bless you girl and here is just as I promised the Princess Elsa cake for your birthday.

You are also becoming naughtier by the day, however I will confess, I love it when you giggle after you have done something mischievous. While I have to confess I am not a perfect mum by any means but you have always made feel proud by just being yourself. However I am little worried about your future plans of wanting to become a fashion show girl, super-heroine girl and Barbie, I hope this year you would find something reasonable real soon. 

Here’s a little piece of advice for this year – be tough, don’t shy but never let anyone make you cry, spread smiles and always remember Mamma and Daddy will always stand by your side!

Something Fishy !!

We Indians love to eat! Sweet, sour, savoury, spicy name we love it. To top it up we Malayalees along with our fellow Bengalis and Goans most certainly love our fish and rice. However I grew up in Delhi so my palate is a bit different, more towards the northern side of India. Rajma Chawal, parathe, dal-subzi-roti kind of palate, while I do like an occasional fish curry or grilled fish.

Hubby and me have very different likings when it comes too food, I love Rajma which he hates and he loves Unakka chemeen (dry prawns) which I just can’t stand. But we have a lot in common too. As a true Delhite I love chats and samosas and so does the hubby and we both hate tuna and salmons. But what really got me to right about this fishy post today is a humble paratha.

I decided to make parathas for the hubby, aloo gobhi parathas and just as I stepped into the kitchen, he followed me to set up his plate with obligatory accompaniments curd and pickle. Just as I was about to take off the first paratha, I asked him:

Me: You will have two na?

Hubby: Suddenly feeling all nervous, he asks “Tuna”?

Me: Yeah? And then suddenly realising, “Not Tuna, I meant two parathas”

Hubby: Feeling relieved said, “yes of course”. For a moment he had his heart in mouth thinking the wifey is going to serve Tuna parathas for dinner.

He was grateful that good sense prevailed and that I didn’t made him eat something exotic even for a fish lover. Now I know what to give him, in case I am feeling vindictive, ha ha !! 

Perks of Parenting: Awesomeness decoded!

The past week has been extremely thrilling as my daughter started her trial classes at the big school. And as I would go back to pick her up after an hour of the trial run, I am flooded with compliments on how wonderful Smera is at practice sessions.

Motherhood is not at all an easy project, as it usually doesn't come with an end date or instruction manual and I have a lot of reasons to tell you why you should not have a child. But not today! Today I am going to blabber all about why you should have kids and not miss out on a prospective source of exuberance in your lives.

1. It’s amazing when someone says “OMG is that your daughter/son?” It some how suddenly makes you feel light years younger. Forget the age defying face creams, the hair colors and other expensive spa treatments. This one line works better than all of those.

2. You can get away with the long queues at the doctors, immigration, passport office, you name it and voila it’s done. I recently skipped a line of 50 odd people at the immigration counter, all thanks to my little munchkin.  

3. For once you can be colour coordinated and not look silly.

4. You don’t need a travel buddy anymore, your child automatically upgrades to the best travel mate ever and the spouses can go for a hike! I mean not literally, then that would more fun!

5. Chances are as your child grows they might look an updated version of you! If they take on the spouse’s looks then you can take all the credit for the good parts of their character. 

6. Personal achievements mean nothing in front of your off-springs success. A parent really experiences their hearts being pumped in with pride into every chamber and ventricle of the heart.

7. Moreover your parents suddenly love you more, as you give them the best gift of their lives – the joy of being grandparents. Guess that is what showers of blessings are.

8. You are up to date with the latest on games, movies, music and the works. Definitely helps boost a parent’s confidence immensely when you can understand what the younger generation is talking about! Makes you feel in vogue.

9.  You get to make more friends and most importantly we somehow end up finding useful/VIP contacts, thanks to their friends list.

10. You get to re-learn about life in general – finding happiness in small things, thinking out of the box and the joy of giggling for no reason.

Echoes of my Grandma

Long back I lost my grandparents and there is nothing in this world that could replace that special bond. I have missed them for years but of late I feel can feel their presence around me. This is post is not about a mind, body and spirit connection, it is just that Smera sometimes reminds me of my grandmothers in her daily discourse.

Problem is that we both are currently at the receiving end of our very own Smera the granny. Our problem probably stems from the daily dose of lecture that she gets from me.  Whatever sermon she receives particularly from me has been coming back to us in some form of the other. The simple explanation to all this is the fact that she is only child at home. Her thought is process is more or less like ours I guess!

I am sure the grandparents in the heavens above might having a ball of a time seeing me getting tortured with the miniature sized dictator at home.

Just recently I was combing her and she was complaining about the knots in her hair to which I responded saying, “Don’t worry mamma is working on it!”. To this she adds, “you know there is something else you should be working on your yelling and shouting!” I was a little taken aback by her ability to blabber and just as I was going to scold her, the father walks and adds fuel to fire, “very well said angel, you got it spot on!”

What the very supportive father does not know is that the he will not be served dinner till he makes up for the not so necessary comment.

This was just a starter! She uses a variety of tools to achieve her objectives - threatening, sweet-talk, emotional blackmailing and if nothing works, the she resorts to crying and get her things done. She can negotiate just like a full-grown adult would. Every now and then when I scold her, I get chided for being rude!

If the above weren't enough, I've got more for you. But before that it’s important to mention that Smera is not a fan aerated drink as we don’t encourage it. Even we don’t drink, barring very rare occasions like pizza nights. Smera has been made to understand the bad aspects of drinking aerated drinks, as they are high on sugar and not good for health in the long run.

Getting back to the story, a few days back we were having a pizza party and of course along with the pizzas there were some aerated drink to go with. Little Smera sees her parents, uncle, aunt and her cousin sisters sipping on the drink. She gives us a big nasty look and says “You all are going to die!”.  For a moment I really felt like as my granny back from the heavens above to stop me from committing a heinous crime!

Right or wrong, she has an opinion, which in a way makes me a proud. She isn't afraid to stand up to what is right. One can occasionally hear her Smera in either mine or hubby’s defense, “Now that’s not nice of you!” or “I think you should be saying sorry now”. Sigh!

Times like these, I wonder if I should stop her to talk like an adult. But then I am left to wonder what’s wrong if she can systematically channelise her thoughts and create an opinion about different situations? Right or wrong is far away from the debate but at least she is not following the herd and has a mind of her own.

So with a little pinch of salt, I have decided to let her be for now and get entertained for the time being, until it starts bordering on getting-on-my-nerves mode.

Changing a habit a bit !!

It’s very difficult to change a habit overnight, especially when a habit makes you the person you are. For the past 2 weeks I have been on the line of fire with my family and when I start to reason it out with them, I end up sounding silly!

I haven’t been keeping well for the past few months and even after good 5 doses of antibiotics the problem would refuse to go away! I could have long come back home to either Delhi or Kochi for a second opinion instead of suffering for so long. However being the self-reliant person I am I didn’t want to bother anyone else. Now I know just as I wrote that line it sounded really Foolish!

Nonetheless there are blocks that we tend build these in our heads. We shouldn’t trouble anyone, try to manage everything ourselves as we stay so far away from family. I have always preferred to do things on my own particularly with an extremely busy husband who has just jumped into a new line of work. Who wouldn’t like an self-reliant wifey and daughter? Right!

Wrong! I over did it! This self-sufficiency habit has landed me into trouble when I just couldn’t take it anymore. I was given a choice to decide over my preferred home. So Delhi it was, I decided came down to my parents place. After a little procedure and day at the hospital, I am finally feeling better and have finally got a fit certificate too. Yay!

My habit made my mother and husband most angry. This thought process of not troubling anyone, solving my own problems is somewhere is influenced by them over the years. These two people never stop! Especially my mum she can be unwell but not a soul would know in the house. Somewhere secretly I imbibed that from my mum. My husband has always lived out of home and is the most independent person and so even somewhere even I become just like them.

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But what I tend to forgot is, we need to shout out for help when in need. It is only in times like these that you can fall back on your family and friends for help. I love to be there for everyone, but I must ask them for help too. That’s why it’s called a support system.

I have understood that, while I must also admit it is not easy for me to change. I am still struggling to get over the guilt of troubling others. I will try my best to speak to mind more often, stop feeling guilty about opening up to them.

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In all of mind over matter conflict I got to celebrate at home after 8 years, didn’t get to meet any of my besties but I tried to calling most of them, pouring out my woes whilst taking a dig at myself. I am feeling loved thanks to my support system and I promise to work on overcoming my weakness. 

Sometimes even love hurts

Motherhood has it’s own ups and downs. Mostly will be ups, when you see your little one smiles in the morning. God blessed us with a little chatter-box, and I am sure she can give any President a run for their money.  We are best of friends, when daddy works long hours, we joke, play and fight also.

Yesterday we had a little fight, we went out for dinner, an excited Smera was a little too loud. So I kept telling her “be quite”, as I didn’t want her to disturb others enjoying their food, hearing a yelling child.  Just as soon as we reached home, I wanted to wash her legs, hands, face before going off to sleep. But the sleepy Smera was in no mood to wash up.

“I Hate you” came out of her innocent mouth. Even though I know she did not mean it, but the words really did hurt me. So after all the rituals were done, that she really didn’t want to do, I took her to bed. And I softly asked her, “don’t you love mamma?” and she said “No, because you kept telling to be quite, when we went out for dinner”. After that she added “I love daddy” turned to the other side to sleep.

I know none of this was said from her heart but she must felt insulted as I scolded her in front of everyone. That must have pricked the little one’s heart. So to hurt me she must have said “I hate you”. But I couldn't sleep at night, my heart felt so heavy.

However this morning there was a U-turn in the situation, she hugged me and I said sorry too and told her how I felt. After a hearty conversation with the three and half year old over breakfast all our problems were solved.

There will be more days likes these to come but I hope my Smera knows that her mamma LOVES her the most in life.  If ever mamma says something that hurts you, in advance I am saying SORRY! Nonetheless you will be duly compensated too.

When you become big you too shall understand our parenting style is just a hit and trial method. Sometimes even Google helps but not that too is not always right! Sometimes it works and sometimes errors happen, however thou too shall pass! 

Excuse my excuses!

Thanks to all the love that my virtual friends have been sending me. I am feeling much better, however as I promised, I am here to present all suggestions and recommendations received from all corners. Now let’s go over them one by one while I have fun taking a dig at some in the meanwhile.

1. Drink water: Of course, I didn't know of this one, drinking water way is best flush out any antioxidants. When it comes to UTI, one must drink more 4-8 liters of water.  Then eventually you would find me at the following place.

2. Considering that I am on high medicinal dosage the BP is quite low and I get to hear that, you must take more salt, it isn't like eating sugar. You can’t eat a spoonful of salt. I know you would you say ORS, but the question how much ???

3. Then it’s said to drink more water (refer1).  Avoid alcohol – I don’t drink unless I am with only certain reliable drunkards. Drink caffeinated drinks, like coffee so that I keep awake like an owl the entire and the BP dips again, thanks to lack of sleep.

4. Then Barley water is highly recommended in for UTI patients. The perfect solutions to that is Beer! Yes you heard me right, beer is made of barley, water and among other things. But then refer no. 3!

5. Drink orange and cranberry juice. I drink 2 glasses of fresh orange juice thank to my hubby’s exorbitant citrus press. But cranberry juice in excess gives severe acidic problem. While I am good girl, in taking cranberry tablets :D 

6. Eat healthy and balanced food! Of course I will if someone can come to cook up for me. Taking heavy doses of antibiotics leaves no taste in mouth and no energy either, and at this stage my cooking certainly is not helping my situation.

7. Try ayurveda medicines – If I don’t enjoy drinking alcohol for the reason it being slightly bitter, then how does yucky tasting kashayam go down my throat? 

Having said all that I know it’s out of love and affection everyone recommends different remedies. But sometimes saying nothing and just a cuddle helps a long way.

Staying positive amid a persistent bacteria

Continuing from where I left last time, I finally decided to make some me time for myself and yes it made a huge difference to me and to my habibi. Felt great as I sat down at the coffee shop and had de rigueur break from routine. While for the habibi turned out to be a rather expensive affair! As a dutiful wife I also indulged in shopping to give myself extra dose of contentment to please my humble soul.

The coming back home a friend of mine sent me an email, a usual chit chat after many months on the emails. We did our usual gossiping and then I am mentioned about my recurrent infection situation. To which she mentioned something that she read long back “life challenges us with the fact that everything can be done better.”

In our entire conversation this line left me with a  great impact, of course the shopping too had made me feel real good.

Just as was planned the UTI report came and confirmed it was yet again klebsiella pneumoniae. Now here’s the problem even after three courses of antibiotics this naughty bacteria has resisting, and these notorious Klebsiella organisms are often resistant to most antibiotics available.

So I thought to myself whining is not going to solve this Klebsiella problem. With a little pain and with lots of love I have been spot around the building grinning and sporting of my cannula. It’s day three now and still have a good possibility it might continue for another four more days but we’ll take it as it comes.

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Now good thing about being A+ blood group person is, that we naturally are a very positive set of people. And going around the hospital smiling and sweet talking to the administration staff has definitely gotten me some good discount :D

But there is another problem when you fall sick one gets advice from all corners, some might be good or bad but that has definitely given inspiration for my next post.

Cheers! 

A fine line!

Getting a driver’s license in the UAE is not an easy task. But I managed it with ease and so I declared myself from that day onwards – a good driver. Actually to be honest I have been driving for more than half a decade in Dubai. To date I have never received any major fines. However I did receive two small ones. One, for not paying the parking ticket and second for obstruction of traffic.

I have very good explanation to justify myself on these two counts too. In the first case, it was just a technical glitch. You see here we can pay tickets via sms, but I happened to send to the wrong number, realised it when I found a ticket on the car. For the second one, I would like to blame the hubby darling. Dropping him off one day, in front of the office I happened to have stopped the car on the narrow road for not more than 20 seconds but that still did amount to obstruction of traffic. And it would not have happened if the hubby had not asked me to drop him. Right ?

Now coming back to square one. I am good driver! I can give good lectures too on the subject, I can also give you few of feelers from some my previous posts.

1. Driving me crazy

2. My massive problem of passive road rage

3. Take care, not chances

But this New Years I got my first speeding ticket. Sob, sob! Yet again I would like to state that it was not my fault. This time too I have a perfect explanation to the slip-up or should I say speed-up and the photo shot that ensued.

1.      The weather was lovely, with slight drizzle and moonlit sky

2.      The mood was happy, as we were driving to Muscat to meet the extended family

3.      My daughter’s favourite song Jiya Jiya Re from Jab tak hain jaan was playing

4.      On one my favourite radio channels, City 101.6 fm

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So singing along with Smera, I accidently happened to step on to the gas a little more than I should have. Should I be blamed for it? No, City 101.6 should be for held responsible for constantly playing lovely music that instantly perk me up and put me in such a jolly good mood that I forget the road speeding limits too.

It was just a mistake but that still cannot take away the fact that all of us had a wonderful time listening to the radio during the long drive.

For my eternal love - Peraty !

Everyone has some or the other fond memories of growing up.  I also have many and still living up some of them even though I am an adult now. It’s these memories that keep the child in you alive. In my real life research I have also noticed that it helps me connect better with friends.

I used to love Amma feeding me lunch and dinner. Now that I am mum, there’s a role-reversal and I miss Amma. Last night as I went to sleep I was thinking of days when I would spend time at home and Amma making my favourite food. Of course there are many more memories but today I plan to write about my love for Peraty!

Peraty is what we call it, but which I am sure most of us would relate to eating from the bottom of the pan. Especially on days when would have Amma made my favourite like Aloo gobhi or chicken fry. Peraty – literally means coating. Coating little rice into the lovely masala stuck at the bottom of the pan, rolling it into a ball and eating it. Eating Peraty used to be a pure bliss moment.

When I was younger I used wonder why Amma always ate from the pan and not in a plate, until one I realised the about the joy of eating Peraty. Once you've tried it, I am sure you would be hooked on to it for life. This is something that also has a special relevance in my hubby’s life.

He grew up in a hostel and once a week there would be meat served to them. At the end of the meal there would be kitchen in-charge walking with the big pan and rice and she would roll Peraty for whosoever was interested. Of course they all were and so they would call out raising, “Miss please Peraty” and so the poor ended up with a ridiculously but cute name Miss Peraty.

We still enjoy eating Peraty and just the thought of it makes our hearts go all mushy and take back in time when life was so simple.