Silly Saturdays: Daddy's beautician at work.

We always talk about the busy and industrious moms, who work day in and out. 365 days a year. However the daddies of the world are equally incredible! No one talks of their hard work. Call them breadwinners, head of the family or finance minister (as I do) they too are equally integral part of the family.

I have been instilling the virtue of hard work on to my little one, by holding up her daddy as an example. Thus this weekend when we were all home, Smera decided to take matters in her hands, I mean on daddy’s foot. Drawing inspiration from mummy’s visit to the beautician’s her artistic skills were woken up. Without wasting anytime out came the nail polish in ElePhantastic Pink. With an amazing dexterity to match an accomplished painter, she covered both the toes in no time.

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But there was a catch, the daddy was asleep when all this was happening, so he was in for a real shock when got up see the color pop pink on his toes. And to his bad luck there was no nail polish remover at home. I somehow managed to convince him forget it and anyway no one was going to know as he always wear shoes and socks.

Life wouldn't have been so interesting if all his problems were to end there. Shortly after this incident was forgotten about, few friends dropped for tea. After a few minutes in the discussing the day’s match suddenly everyone’s gaze shifted on to hubby’s shiny toes. The rest of the evening was spent laughing at daddy’s new pedicured toe nails and Smera accepting accepting booking from her aunts for their next pedicure appointments. 

Mommy's guide to happy mornings

Have people ever doubted your parenting capabilities? I get it all the time and honestly I don’t mind it at all. I usually get tons of advice on how to raise my child, while I do listen to them, I do not guarantee to follow them. While I cannot claim to be best at the task, but I do try to give my best shot at it.

Just recently my interaction with another newbie parents got me some eye rolling and this made me wonder if I was really being tough on Smera. I mostly get in trouble for being a bit too strict with my daughter. But I believe toddlerhood is just the best time to learn all about discipline.

The newbie parents were appalled to hear that Smera’s sleep time on school days is 7pm. They felt it was an absolute injustice to the little one. I was asked questions like then when does she get time to play? My response to them was – “She perfectly manages to do everything a child needs to do before 7pm”. I might have sounded a little rude but this was the truth!

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Smera is a morning person, loves to get up at 6am (even on holidays). Her biological clock is tuned to it waking up early in the morning. Nothing is more special than seeing her get up with a smile every morning. The reason being she had a good night’s sleep – just a  simple logic. Morning’s are never a struggle with Smera and on most days she is extremely happy to be going to school. I never have to scold her to get out of bed.

As an infant too Smera had this habit of waking up real early, though I did have to put her into an early sleeping habit but that too wasn't a big task with her. And this good habit has helped her to settle into school routine. 

Smera leaves for school at 7am and unfortunately her school finishes at 3pm – a real long day. After school the little one loves to come back and unwind at home, colour a bit, play with her friends, dawdle around the kitchen to find her snack, have a bath, eat dinner and listen to stories just like any 4 year old child. The only difference might be that she skips her afternoon nap.

There is another reason why I chose early to bed routine for her that is because I have never been a morning person for most part of my life. My dad has had some real tough days to get me out of bed. Most days I have spent my time in classroom dreaming of sleep. And that is the reason why I want to put in good habits right from the beginning for her.

I have learnt from confirmed sources the ultimate mommy fact – most children are the happiest when they have slept well and their tummies are full.  As they grow up with they would need to focus more on studies and that’s when sleep will become even more crucial. Then why not practice good sleeping habits from the beginning itself.

Parenting trap #1 - Perfection

What is with parents wanting nothing but the best for their children? Is good not good enough anymore? Why suddenly there is a desire for everything to be perfect? Either it’s the best school, best pediatrician, best tutor to even best prospective life partner. Does good not satiate our desires? The world around me is split into two the one with that have the best and the other striving for the best.

Competition is great and in any form would be healthy not only for the mind but also for the soul. But the question that has been going on in my head is if excellence too has the same effect? The idea of perfection is not frightening, while the idea of desiring perfection for others is asking a bit too much I guess.

We as parents want to give our children the best school, but are they worthy of it? Why not let the child prove his or her caliber in academics. We would buy the best of the branded clothes, take them best vacations or dine in the at best restaurants. But are telling them how much it costs to afford this best lifestyle?

I grew up in an environment where my parents tried their best to give me a good opportunity in everything and expected me to excel in studies. This I felt was reasonable, but somewhere from then to now things have changed and the reason being our aspirations.

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This new age parenting is a bit scary for me, we are training our children to be the best. But what are not teaching is how to get there and also understand the value of ones failures, that too many positives.  How else would the youngsters understand what it takes to be best at something, if we don’t guide them towards the right path.

I don't know why are putting ourselves and our loved ones through this pressure. We parents love to celebrate the A grades. If the child didn't win, then we wouldn't tell that child had even competed to save ourselves of the embarrassment of acknowledging that someone else was better. It is as if we are telling our children, there is no point participating if you cannot win it.

Now more than ever the youngsters must understand the concept of discipline, dedication, practice, punctuality, consistency and teach them to find positives from a failure. It is important to help them understand that we are not perfect. Even if we make mistakes, we have a share in everything that's happens to us, good and bad.

The journey of our life may not be perfect, but we will eventually reach where we want to be. We have to be careful not to confuse excellence with perfection. Excellence is what we should aim for and teach our children, perfection will follow us with persistence, patience, and by prioritising our passion.

Tough luck

A 4 year old boy was recently expelled from my daughter’s class in KG -1. The school was forced to take this drastic step against the child as he was continually disrupting the class. But what was more defeating in all of this is the fact the parents were in denial that their child could such a thing.

The problem started right from the very beginning of the class in September. The boy would bite his fellow classmates and occasionally push or kick them too. Smera too was bitten and we asked her to complain to the class teacher instantly. A month into the class this continued, so I spoke to the academic supervisor regarding the matter was asked to send a written complaint. The supervisor was asked to prove that the child really was biting by his parents. Forced to provide proof to the parents, she decided to urge parents to send in written complaints.

At first I refused to give in a written complaint. I wanted to give the boy a fair chance as I was not sure if Smera was exaggerating. As a mother I could understand another mother’s situation too. It is difficult to hear when our child does something wrong and I am really no one to judge about the little boy’s character. So as days passed on, Smera continued to grumble until one day when she came back home with a bite mark on her wrist.  And that was it, I didn't want Smera to think that it is okay to bite. So I finally sent an email to the supervisor, explaining the incident and hoping that this time the parents would not ignore the incident.

After the email, I very rarely heard Smera complaining about her friend. Though she would tell me of how her other classmates were bitten by the same boy. And then just this week I was informed by the supervisor that the boy has been expelled from school. The reason cited was that the boy was given plenty of chances to improve and the school no longer wanted to be held responsible for anything untoward happening to other students.

We were not the only parents who had complained. But did the school do right by putting the child out of the school? In my opinion, maybe not! The child of course every child needs to know the difference between good and bad, right and wrong but not all children are the same. I think it was a very harsh decision on a 4 year old. Maybe they could have waited for few months for the year to get over, this way the child would have saved an academic year. I am sure the parents could have helped a bit more to help their child deal with his aggressive behaviour.

Discipline cannot be taught overnight and definitely not by punishing the child. What we must remember is that every child is different and a child needs our love the most particularly when he is not worthy of it!  

Old habits die hard

Can you believe it January has almost come to an end? What is it with time that stops for no one or anything for that matter? I have been thinking of posting something for the last few weeks and then got busy with life. To be honest I am really glad that 2014 is over, had been a tough year at many levels. That explains why I was keener on 2015 to get started, but time seems to be rushing and I am yet to catch up with it this year.

I have carried on my old habits like laziness into this year too. Not just that in fact I have attained new heights in being lazy already in 2015. Just yesterday Smera came in from school with her school bag all messed up courtesy her lunch box. The bag had to be cleaned up and somebody (i.e. me) had to do the job, so gave my washing machine a golden chance to be my savior. 30 mins later not only the bag was clean, my washing machine survived my experiment (sporting a proud grin).

Now that I have confessed of washing the school bag in the machine, let me also share that I wash little Smera’s shoes too in the machine. Actually I go to the ridiculous extent of buying only those kinds of shoes that can be machine washed. To explain better these shoes do not come with washing machine friendly label, but I have attained this wisdom through my trial and error methodology (yet again sporting the proud grin).

Strange things happen to nice people. It continues to haunt my life in 2015 too. It is quite to keep track of the number of times that I got into trouble for bizarre reasons. After feeling proud about my accomplishment yesterday, I decided to help myself to nice cup of chamomile tea. And just before bed I stopped to have my daily dose of multivitamins. One of them is a big capsule and just as I put that in mouth, I heard Smera crying in her sleep, so I quickly downed the medicine with a small sip of water and ran to the bedroom.  She was alright and it just the dream, I switched off the bed to realise, something was stuck in my throat. In my rush I took little to have medicine and that thing was stuck in my throat. Went back to the kitchen had lots of water, the feeling got a little better however it didn't go away completely.

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Suddenly memories of biology class flooded my thought and made think how to get rid of the silly capsule stuck in esophagus. Remember esophagus, a thin tube connecting the mouth to the stomach? Yes that was hurting.  Then I remembered of rice, somebody once told me when something like this happens or a fish bone gets stuck, fill your mouth with a large ball of this rice and swallow it. Hoping the rice takes the capsule down my pipeline, I ended up eating an entire bowl of rice to feel better. With no choice I retired to bed thinking of blogging about this.

And as I got up this morning I was feeling much better and the discomfort was gone. Just then I decided to finish up my morning chore and sat down write this post.  I guess strange things will continue to happen this year too! Who knew that a dirty school and a capsule could inspire me to write my 2015’s first blog post. Wishing you all a very late but a real happy new year!

Suffering the Questionitis Syndrome

Do you get questioned often? I am bombarded by them everyday and most of my days, start and end with a question. Mostly asked to make me go crazy, but there are some real smart ones too I have to confess. There are some that put me in a tough spot, if I should answer the truth or cook up a story to support. Nonetheless I know it is good to encourage Smera and her is curiosity.

A few years back I read somewhere that it is scientifically proven that children who are naturally curious fare better at school, in relationships, at work, and end up being intelligent, creative and satisfied people. Right so this means no matter how tough it is going to find answers for her questions, I must persuade her to be a flexible thinker! However this responsive style of parenting, where we help the child to cultivate the habit of questioning has its own flip sides too.

And today I plan to write about the question that has been disturbing my little munchkin a lot, she has tried different ways find the truth but answer is still evading her.  The question was –“Why was I not there at you wedding?”. “Didn't you love me then?” she asked me once and I always tell her that she was with god watching the ceremony happen from the heavens above. Then the next question she would come up with is, “Really how come I don’t remember and why am I not there in the picture?”

Over a period of time, she has come to terms that she was not invited to the actual party and that she omnipresent from the heavens above. But the matter does not end there for me, just when I was thinking that the problems have solved, the little child asked me another bouncer of question. “Can you get married again? This time you can invite me too!”

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So as I am writing this post the little one is busy checking her wardrobe for a white dress that she plans to wear and along with her princess wings and tiara. Looking at her enthusiasm over getting us married again, I am wondering maybe it isn't really a bad idea and probably this time I could get married in jeans and t-shirt. 

Fit in or Stand out?

We all live in comfort zones and find it really difficult to part away with it. But such is life, it will bring challenges and will expect you to raise yourself above the petty things and aim at the goal that is set higher. If you are a regular at the blog, then you would know that I love looking for inspiration from people in my life, everyday people like you and me! And so today it’s going to be my eldest niece, Mariah but I love calling her Ammu.

Ammu until this June was studying at the Indian School grade 5, one of the most prestigious CBSE schools in the Oman and was in the CBSE (I) curriculum, which is far more relaxed and than the regular CBSE. However when we decided upon putting Smera into an international school known for strong academics and extra-curricular activities, Ammu seemed excited about this new school for her.

It wasn't going to be a task as she just managed to clear her entrance test in Math and the second challenge set for her was French as opposed to Hindi was going to be the second language and she would have to catch up on her French. The third challenge for Ammu was to make new friends and so far it was easy for her as she joined and grew up from a toddler into a confident and popular 10 year old girl. Now it was going to all back to square one and at 10 it’s a bit more difficult to fit in.

But in all of this she had an advantage as she had an extra month of vacation which she utilised very wisely and got herself enrolled for Math and French coaching. As a result of the challenge that was set in front her, she pushed herself to the limits and in the very first test in French she scored a 100/100 and in Math she scored an 87/100. Since the first week her academic scores have been getting better the ever.

Simultaneously she has been making friends too in her peers and superiors but it is a bit longer process than she had expected. She is trying to make friends without changing the person she is and believe me it’s a tough ask for a 10 yr old. I keep reminding her of all the good parts of her character, while some days are tough but some days are super cool. The problem with the kids at her age is they without realising end up hurting, or bullying their peers. But what is important is not to lose your identity to become one of them.

In life I've learnt that trials are a great way to progress ahead in our lives. Sometimes they may make us feel excited and enthusiastic, while others simply are meant to overwhelm us.  The key is to never to lose your confidence, you may lose everything and get it back with firm belief in yourself. My advice for you and every child would be not to hesitate in taking chances and appreciate whatever you've have learned from a tough situation and you must also understand that every step is necessary in this journey called Life!

I know you've always enjoyed Dr. Seuss, he once said "Why fit in when you were born to stand out?”.  Taking a cue from Dr. Seuss, there is wonderful song that I am leaving for you and I feel best describes your situation. I Love You and you make me very proud girl!! 

Sweet November !!

I love this month! Got god’s best blessing – my Ma, met my hubby for the very first time 11 years ago and also got the most precious gift of my life – my daughter Smera! They all celebrate their birthdays in November. All the scorpions in my life have been the best bunch of crazy rock-stars that make my life electrifying!  

Little Smera celebrates her birthday today as she turned all of 4 years! This year had been tough for her especially with us shifting countries, making new friends, to new schools, but she managed all of it with her charming smile and few tears too alongside. With each passing year, she is becoming crazier like me. I never thought I would say it this early but, “Smera your questions are way too smart for mamma to give you all the answers”.

You are my best friend and my partner in crime. We laugh n cry n tickle n dance sometimes all in the same hour! With you I am getting to re-live me childhood and that is surely the best part of having you! I love it when you give me your lap to sleep and scold your daddy when he troubles me. God bless you girl and here is just as I promised the Princess Elsa cake for your birthday.

You are also becoming naughtier by the day, however I will confess, I love it when you giggle after you have done something mischievous. While I have to confess I am not a perfect mum by any means but you have always made feel proud by just being yourself. However I am little worried about your future plans of wanting to become a fashion show girl, super-heroine girl and Barbie, I hope this year you would find something reasonable real soon. 

Here’s a little piece of advice for this year – be tough, don’t shy but never let anyone make you cry, spread smiles and always remember Mamma and Daddy will always stand by your side!

Silly Saturdays: Fellow asking me to be Mellow

Been a while since I took a dig at myself and that made me wonder why? Answer is quite simple it’s just that the hubby has been quite busy these days and he is one who usually brings the best or the worst out of me. As a consequence of spending sometime with him, this is what happens.

On very silent Thursday morning, while I was gently urging little Smera to drink her milk and get on with getting ready to school. The half awake hubby walks in with his PBJ sandwich and sat down beside us. Munching on his sandwich he heard me yet again to Very Gently Urging her to finish her milk and just then he comments:

Hubby: “Are you not well?”

Me: “No, I am perfectly alright and why do you ask?”

Hubby: “I asked as I’ve never heard you ask Smera to do something so softly.”

Me: “What do you mean that I am always yelling at her?”

Hubby: “Err!! That’s not what I meant. I mean either you are too aggressive or as today extremely mellow.”

Me: “Extremely mellow?”

Hubby: “I mean you need to find the right spot in your voice! Ah I realise my sandwich is finished let me get ready quickly”, and he quickly vanished off from the scene, leaving me fuming.

Meanwhile while we were discussing the pitch of my tone little Smera was giggling and slurping up her chocolate milk and that meant it time to get her into her uniform.

This made me wonder when the better half will really understand to use better choice of words to explain his thoughts! 

A week that went by !!

Being a Stay-At-Home-Mom or SAHM as the new lingo is, is one the most difficult part of job that any mother has do. Now don’t get me wrong, with all due respect it’s a very important job and somebody’s got to do it but the problem is at the end of the it’s a thankless job. I wonder how mums all the over world and over hundreds of years have managed to stay at home all the time and have been happy about it. I have never met a SAHM who has ever complained!

I was brought by an extremely hard working mum, who would be away almost 5 days a week but she made up for that I missed in just two days. Yes of course she missed my report card days (that was mostly on purpose), or school functions etc. But she was always around still and the one thing that I really learnt from her is to be independent! Be it monetarily or emotionally, every woman needs to be self sufficient!

I am currently at a situation where I am absolutely frustrated as I do a little bit of work from home, content writing, blogging etc. but it is just not satisfying my soul. I want to get back to the corporate routine and which is quite impossible right now with no one to look after my little Smera. It feels like living in a jail especially on school days as I have to be on mercy for the hubby to come in early and answer some of the her questions. Since we moved to Muscat we don’t have a baby-sitter so far and the question of having some Me-time is zero.

To help myself feel a little liberated I have started going to my hubby’s office, working on the website content. So my usual routine starts at 4:30 am, and that’s all thanks to my body clock and if knew where it was located I would have long thrown it out of body. Going after sending Smera away to school I get ready and rush to work, work on the content bit till 12:30 come back for houseboy to clean, cook lunch and pick up Smera.

Once Smera is back I am already feeling sleepyishly liberated and that’s when I take her down to play for an hour that is roughly around 5-6 pm. This is the time when I am really doing a security guard’s duty keeping both my eye on her, while she plays. In between other kids from the compound ask the lovely lady aka me the time, to make sure they don’t get in trouble with their mums. Once back from the play I give her a bath followed by then dinner and then I tuck her away by 7 pm.

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Sigh!! I am feeling almost exhausted writing about it, imagine me dragging my self with that idiotic body clock. Then the laundry, tweeting, whatsapping, facebooking and thinking of the next blog post, while preparing for next day. Sounds extremely chaotic but I am loving it. I just wish if I could find a full-time help at home, which would make it more interesting then I guess.

For now I am happy, for having started working from office instead of my couch!